


Learning To Fly

by BrokenWings0712



Series: Broken Wings [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Kissing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-12 08:52:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13543911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenWings0712/pseuds/BrokenWings0712
Summary: Second part of the Broken Wings series. What would you do if everything you thought you knew was a lie? What would you do if everyone you loved was gone and you had nothing left at home?This story follows Alex Wade as she delves into the world of the supernatural and learns who she is and what she can be after the loss of her family all while facing threats she never even knew existed.





	1. Chapter 1

“Dude, get off me.”

“I’m just trying to help you—”

“I don’t need your help,” Alex snapped. She’d slipped in and out of consciousness that first day, the result of sheer exhaustion and the copious amounts of pain killers in her system taking a toll on her body, and the day after no one had let her so much as lift a finger without helping, but now? Now her catheter was out, and she just wanted to go to the bathroom by herself. The young nurse pursed her lips and stepped back, arms raised as if to say, “Fine. You win.” 

“Thank you,” Alex told her with a nod. She then looked to Dean who was still at her elbow. “Well?” 

“Alex,” he said sternly, a warning in his voice.

“Dean,” she retorted, mocking his tone. 

His jaw ticked ever so slightly, a sure sign that she was starting to irritate him, but after a few moments of staring each other down Dean released Alex and backed away to lean against the doorframe a few feet away. He crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow at her. 

Alex closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, steeling herself for the physical pain that was sure to follow her attempt to get out of bed alone. “Okay,” she whispered. While holding her right arm close to her chest so as to not jostle her injured shoulder, she used her left hand to push off the bed and into a standing position. Alex groaned as she moved and swayed a bit at first but held a hand up when Dean took a step in her direction. “I’m fine,” she gasped, flashing a pained smile his direction.

“Al…” Dean furrowed his brow, unsure if he should let her continue by herself.

“Really. I just need a second to adjust.”

“Whatever you say, kid,” he mumbled. His eyes followed each and every slow movement her body made as she inched her way closer to the bathroom door, intent on rushing over at the slightest sign that she was in need of assistance, but Dean was pleasantly surprised when she made it to the small room and closed the heavy door behind her. Once Alex was out of sight, Dean released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and relaxed a bit, eyes turning towards the ceiling in relief. 

“You’ve got a feisty one on your hands,” the nurse said as she adjusted the bed sheets. 

“Sure seems that way, doesn’t it?” Dean huffed, a small smile on his lips. He stared at his worn old boots as the nurse worked, but his ears were focused on anything coming from the bathroom. He just couldn’t shake the need to care for the young woman in any way possible. Even though they barely knew each other, the connection, the pull he felt when around her had been there since day one. At first, he had just shrugged it off as sympathy towards someone who’d lost her husband, but when she called them back to town, there was just something in her voice that he couldn’t say no to. 

That pull only strengthened when they pulled up to her house and he saw her standing on the porch. She had looked absolutely desperate for help, and then the way she broke down later in the backyard revealed a side to her that he was sure few had seen before. Alex seemed to have built a wall around her emotions, a tactic Dean was more than familiar with, and he craved the next time she would let him in. 

The nurse eventually left, giving instructions to call should they need anything at all, and Dean continued to wait for Alex to finish up. And wait. And wait. “Screw this,” he grumbled, striding across the tiled floor. “Alex?” he called as he rapped a knuckle on the door. Silence. “Al, if you don’t answer me in the next ten seconds, I’m coming in,” he warned as Sam appeared in the door to the hallway, a coffee cup in each hand. Sam cocked his head slightly, a silent question in his eyes, and Dean nodded towards the bathroom in answer. 

Dean grabbed the handle and issued a final warning before opening the door, and what a sight he found. Alex was sitting on the toilet, gown gathered around her waist and hands resting in her lap as she scowled at him. “Need a hand?” he asked, his mouth quirking into a sideways grin.

“I can’t get up,” Alex muttered petulantly, eyes refusing to meet the man’s face.

“Alright, then. Come on,” Dean chuckled as he bent to grip her elbow with one hand and wind the other arm around the back of her shoulders. He looked her in the eye and said, “On three. Ready?” She screwed her eyes shut and nodded quickly in response. “One, two, three.” A tortured yelp escaped Alex’s lips as Dean pulled her into a standing position and held her steady. He started to pull away, but Alex’s grip tightened to an almost painful level as her nails dug into his forearm.

“Wait, please,” she gasped, her eyes still closed.

“You gonna be okay?” Dean asked, ducking his head to meet her eyes.

Alex peered up at him unsure. “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier,” she admitted, dark eyes flitting to a spot on his shirt. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m just having a hard time with all this.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth curved up slightly and he patted her back gently before straightening. Of course he’d help her, he thought. Of course he’d stay by her side. How could he not? “Come on, Al,” he said softly. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

Together they slowly crept back into the main room where Sam was sitting, and Dean gently eased Alex onto the bed Sam grinned at the sight of his brother being so gentle with someone. It wasn’t something Dean normally did. Even when Sam was sick or injured, Dean rarely acted so...sweet. Had Sam been in a better mood he may have made a joke about it later, but not today. Not after everything that had happened, he thought bitterly, the smile fading from his face. How they managed to lose so many people on one case he’ll never know.

Alex gripped Dean’s flannel with her good hand as he swung her legs up onto the lumpy hospital mattress. He’d been her lifeline so far, and she was terrified he’d disappear once she got well enough to take care of herself. Her throat tightened at the prospect of being alone in the world. When her foster parents disowned her, Alex still had Jessica to lean on. Now, she looked at the two men in her room as she settled back onto her pillows. They were nice to stay as long as they had, but it wouldn’t last. Alex released her hold on Dean’s shirt and whispered a quiet thanks as he returned to his chair beside her. Sam handed Dean his coffee, and the three sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Sam cleared his throat. 

“There’s something we need to discuss,” he said to Alex. Dean, normally on the same wavelength, sent a questioning glance to his brother, but Sam ignored it and continued. “Dean told me he explained our job and exactly what happened with Gilda to you,” he began, “This life…it tends to take us all over the country, and we rarely stay in one place as long as we’ve stayed here.”

Alex’s heart dropped. Shit. “You’re saying goodbye,” she murmured. “You’re leaving.”

Sam nodded at the same time as Dean jumped to his feet. “Now just hold on a minute,” he said quickly.

“Dean,” Sam sighed. “We can’t just sit around here. There are other things, other cases, that need our attention.” 

“But—”

“No, he’s right.” 

Alex spoke from behind him, and Dean’s head whipped around to stare at her in shock. “What?”

“He’s right,” she repeated. “You can’t stay. You shouldn’t. There are other people out there that need your help just like I did. Who would I be if I asked you to hang around here any longer than you already have?” She shook her head and used her left hand to push her hair back before sighing and staring out the window. “I’m alive because of what ya’ll did. I shouldn’t be, but I am. Your job was done when you brought me here, so there’s really not another reason for you to stay.”

“So come with us,” Dean offered.

Alex scoffed and just looked at the man. “And do what? Limp around and slow you down? No thanks. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Sam,” Dean started, looking to his brother. “Help me out here, man.”

“What do you want me to say? She’s made up her mind. Besides, we can’t make her go.” Sam sat back in the chair with a resigned expression. 

“Thanks for the help,” Dean grumbled, rolling his eyes. He inhaled deeply, hands on his hips, before slowly releasing the breath through his nose as he wracked his brain for a solution. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers and pointed at his brother. “Cas,” he stated. “He can heal Alex and get her back on her feet. Boom, problem solved.” Dean sat back down with a grin and looked at Alex who was currently wearing a confused expression. 

“Who’s Cas?” she asked.

“A friend that can get you out of here a hell of a lot quicker than you can,” he smirked.

“Wait,” Alex said, holding up a hand. “You said he could heal me? Like fix my injuries heal me?” Her eyes were wide and her mind more than a little skeptical, though she had to admit she was enthralled by the idea of someone possessing such an ability. 

Dean leaned towards her. “You’re gonna love him.”

Sam frowned at his brother’s lack of an explanation. “He’s an angel, Alex,” he told her.

“Sounds like it,” she quipped.

Sam shook his head. “No, you don’t understand. He’s an actual angel.”

Alex shifted her gaze between the two as they sat there, trying to figure out when they’d deliver the punchline. “You’re joking,” she said flatly, but the men’s faces remained serious. “You’re not joking. You,” she pointed between them, “are friends with a fluffy-winged, halo-wearing, harp-playing angel?!”

“Kinda, but he doesn’t have a harp, we can’t see his wings, and we’re not sure if he has a halo or not,” Dean explained, leaning his elbows on his thighs. “He’s been through a lot with us, and I don’t wanna think about where we’d be without him.”

Alex closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “My life is so weird,” she grumbled. 

Sam stood and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll give him a call and see if he’s nearby,” he said and walked out, leaving Alex and Dean alone.

“Dean?” Alex asked.

“Hmm?”

Alex fiddled with the strap on her sling before finding the right words. “Why are you so insistent that I go with you?” 

Dean paused as he mulled it over trying to find the right words to best answer the question without giving too much away. “Well,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want you to be here on your own. You said you don’t have anybody, but you’re wrong. You have us.”

“You don’t even know me.”

Dean looked Alex in the eye and spoke clearly so she’d understand. “I know enough,” he said, voice low and rough.  
“I don’t know anything about your world,” she insisted. “I’m dying to get out there and get some revenge on those sons of bitches, and I can hold my own in a fight, but witches? Monsters? Demons?” She shook her head. “That’s way over my head.”

They stared at each other for a few moments before Dean had to look away. “You don’t want to come.” He stated. His expression was neutral and tone even, but inside he was crumbling.

“I do,” she insisted as he stood and wiped a hand down his face, “but what good am I? What could I possibly bring to the table?”

Dean stood stock still for a moment, his face brooding, before lifting his eyes to stare at her. “What would you do if you stayed here?”

Alex stopped. She hadn’t really made a plan past getting home and crying in bed. What would she do? Her husband and child were gone, so she had no one to take care of. Her best friend and business partner was gone, so she had no one to lean on and a business she couldn’t handle by herself. She had an empty house and a car that sat gathering dust in her garage. She didn’t have much of a life left here. “I, I don’t know,” she confessed. Her eyes darted side to side and her lips parted slightly as she drew in a shaky breath. Alex bit her lip as her eyes welled.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean strode over to her and sat on the bed while wrapping his arms around her. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Al, I didn’t mean to... I’m sorry.” 

She leaned into his hold not for the first time since they’d met, finding it oddly comforting. The pain of everyone she’d lost was still too fresh, and controlling her emotions had been nearly impossible when reminders constantly popped up to smack her in the face. The tears silently rolled down her face, and, as a reflex, Alex started to wipe at them with her more dominant right hand but whimpered when the movement jostled her still injured shoulder. “Dean,” she whispered, “I don’t have anything left here. I can’t run the store alone, and even if I could, I wouldn’t want to without…without Jess.” She looked into his eyes and paused before gathering the strength to continue. “Everything, all the roots I planted, they’re gone. I mean, I want to say that the only reason to go with you guys is to join the good fight and do the right thing, but the truth is, I don’t have any reason to stay. I don’t have anything stopping me from taking to the road, but I don’t know that going with you is going to help much.”

“We can teach you, Al,” Dean insisted. “Sam, he’s a walking library of information. The guy knows everything about everything, and once Cas heals you, we can start sparring on a regular basis to improve your fighting skills…” he trailed off and took a deep breath before looking away. “I want you to come. With me.”

Alex shook her head. “No, Dean. I need some time to figure everything out. I’d like to keep in touch if you’ll let me, but I need time to deal.” She used her sleeve to wipe the tears from her face and pulled out of Dean’s arms. Seriously, she was getting way too comfortable with him.

Dean backed away and sat back in his chair. “Okay,” he said quietly. He pointed at Alex. “We’re still getting Cas to patch you up, though.”

“And he’s going to be here in just a couple of hours,” Sam announced as he walked back into the room. “He’s leaving Chattanooga now.”

“Chattanooga?” Dean and Alex said in unison.

“What the hell is he doing there?” Dean asked.

Sam shrugged. “He said something about the butterfly exhibit at the aquarium? I don’t know, but he’s on his way.”

“Can’t he just fly?” Alex questioned. “I mean, you said he’s an angel, right?”

Sam and Dean shared a look before Dean leaned forward and attempted to explain. “Well, see a few years ago, there was this…” he trailed off and looked to his brother for help.

“Incident?” Sam supplied.

“Right,” Dean nodded. “An incident. Basically every angel in Heaven was cast out and fell to Earth. They were all injured and lost the ability to fly.” 

“The massive meteor shower,” Alex mumbled. “That was a bunch of angels?” Sam nodded as Alex released a long breath. “Wow.”

“Anyway, Cas is going to meet us at your house, so we need to get you out of here as soon as we can.” Sam grabbed his jacket and threaded his arms through the sleeves. “Get dressed, and I’ll let them know you’re going to sign an AMA.” 

He walked out, and Dean gathered Alex’s clothes before placing them on the bed. “You need any help?”

Alex smiled at the man. “I’m fine, but thanks.” 

“I’ll be right outside if you need anything.” Dean ducked his head and left, shutting the door gently behind him.   
_____________

“You sure this is everything you need?” Sam asked as he picked up the duffel bag on the table.

After leaving the hospital, they had brought Alex back to her house to help her pack up a few things. She didn’t need a whole lot, just the essentials and a few of her favorite pictures of her family. She already called her realtor and planned to stop by the store to hang a for sale sign in the window on her way out of town. Alex was going to hang onto the house for a while longer, but she’d eventually move what she wanted to keep into storage and sell this place as well. If nothing else, it would serve as a place to crash until then. She looked around the kitchen and sighed. “Yeah.”

There was a knock at the front door, and Dean got up to answer it. Alex heard him talking to someone as they came down the hall, and she stood to greet who she presumed was the angel here to heal her. When they rounded the corner her heart stopped. “Alex,” Dean said, “this is Castiel, Angel of the Lord. Cas, meet Alex Wade. She helped us crack this last case.”

“Hello,” the man said simply.

“Wow,” she whispered. 

The dark-haired man appeared confused and turned towards Dean. “I don’t understand. That’s not a normal greeting, is it?”

Alex looked down. “I’m sorry, it’s just,” she peered back up at him and tilted her head, “you look a lot like my late husband.” The hair, the eyes, even the tie that hung loosely around his neck, it was all very Jack-like and she couldn’t help but stare. Castiel narrowed his eyes and also tilted his head as they gazed at each other.

“Great,” Dean grumbled. “Now there’s two of them.” Sam shot his brother a bitch face, and Dean raised his hands. “Well look at them!” he said.

Castiel rolled his eyes at Dean and stepped closer to Alex. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he told her sincerely. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly but flinched back as the angel raised two fingers to her forehead. “Whoa, dude. What are you doing?”

Castiel paused, hand hanging in the air. “You need to be healed, correct?”

“Well, yeah,” she admitted, “and, not to sound ungrateful, but a little warning would be nice.”

“I apologize,” he said and dropped his hand. “I’d like to heal you if you’ll allow it.” Dean raised a brow at the interaction. How she got Cas to actually ask permission to do something he’d never know.

Alex swallowed and nodded. “Okay,” she said. “I’m ready.” Castiel touched his fingers to her forehead, and Alex closed her eyes as the energy surged through her before suddenly disappearing. She blinked a couple of times with the change and slowly rolled her now uninjured shoulder. “Thank you, Castiel.”

“You’re more than welcome.” 

“You ready, kid?” Dean asked Alex.

She pressed her lips together and took one more look around the room. It was her favorite part of the house. It was the place where she and Jack had shared many long talks and where she watched A.J. grow from a baby into a little girl. Finally her gaze fell on the coffee cups on the counter. She walked over and picked up her favorite red mug and held it close for a moment. On a whim, she decided to carry it with her to keep a little piece of what was once her daily routine. It was a reminder of her perfect life and who she was before she lost everyone she loved. 

Alex turned around and met Dean’s eyes. “Yeah, I’m ready.” She took her bag from Sam and placed the mug in the big pocket with all of her clothes so it wouldn’t break and slowly zipped it up before hiking the strap up on her shoulder. The boys led the way out to the garage, and Alex flipped off the lights before locking the door behind her and descending the steps to stand beside her car. She tossed the bag in the back and stood up, fingering the key ring as she stared at the men.

“Thank you all for everything,” she said. “I never would’ve made it without you.” Her eyes landed on Dean’s face as he leaned on the hood of Baby. “You saved me, even though I’m not sure I should’ve been, but you did. Thank you.” 

Sam gave her a small wave before sliding into his place in the Impala, and Castiel nodded and told her to call if she needed anything. Dean continued to stare at his shoes, refusing to leave her just yet. She stepped up and wrapped her arms tightly around Dean before he sighed and returned the hug, resting his cheek against her hair. “I think I’ll miss you most of all, scarecrow,” she said. 

“You’re such a nerd.” He huffed a laugh and tightened his hold on her. “It’s not too late to change your mind, you know.”

“I can’t,” she told him gently. “Not yet.” She took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of leather and what she now knew to be gunpowder, before pulling away. “I’ll let you know when I land somewhere tonight.”

Dean looked her in the eye before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a large knife in a leather sheath and handed it to her. “Stay safe out there, Al.”

“I will,” she promised. Dean pushed up off the hood and rounded the car to his door as she walked back to her GTO. He gave her a small nod and got in. Baby’s motor rumbled loud in the still air around her, and Alex closed her eyes in order to commit the sound to memory. When she opened them, Dean had backed out of the driveway and was pulling away from the curb as Alex clutched the knife. 

She got into her car and slammed the door before hanging the key in the ignition. Alex rested her head against the leather of the steering wheel and a single tear slid down her face before she sat up and started the car. She smiled to herself as Led Zeppelin’s “Thank You” started playing and backed out. She hit the button for the garage door—a gift from Sam when she was in the hospital—and watched as the final door on her old life shut tight. She still had a lot to learn, a lot to process, but this was a start, and she was ready to see what lay ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam cut the radio off and turned towards his brother sitting on the driver's seat, his brother who had just let some woman run off on her own, his brother who was now glaring at Sam as the car rolled to a stop at the intersection. The two men sat there staring at each other for a few seconds before Dean slowly eased his foot onto the accelerator. 

"We need to talk about--"

"There's nothing to talk about, Sam. Leave me alone," Dean muttered. Silence filled the car. 

"Dean--"

"I said, no!" Dean thundered. "Now drop it." He glanced over at Sam who was now staring petulantly back. "And stop looking at me like that, would you?"

Sam huffed and faced the windshield before flipping the radio back on but at a lower volume than it was.

A few miles later, he tried again. "You shouldn't have let her leave on her own," Sam mumbled.

Dean sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. "What did you say?"

"I said, you shouldn't have let her leave on her own like that."

Dean set his jaw and glanced at his brother before speaking. "I didn't let her do anything," he said. "That woman is a force of nature, man. No way she was listening to me."

More silence. 

"Something might happen to her own the road."

"You think I don't know that?" Dean asked, banging his hand on the wheel. "I've been going crazy thinking about her being alone out there, especially at the little roadside places she'll be staying. I tried, okay?" He pointed at his chest as he spoke. "I tried to get her to come with us, but she wouldn't. And you? You took her side!"

"I thought she'd stay home," Sam retorted, "where she belongs."

"Come on, Sam!" Dean said as he furrowed his brow. "You and I both know she didn't have anything left there."

"What about her job?" Sam asked. 

"She's selling the store."

Sam's eyes widened with the information. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Dean shook his head. "She told me she had to figure things out for herself and that she didn't want her inexperience to burden us. So, she drove off into the sunset alone," he said with a bitter smile. 

"At least she isn't hunting," Sam added, attempting to see the positive aspects that Alex being alone on the road might have.

"We can only hope," Dean muttered before pressing harder on the gas. The faster Baby moved, the better he felt, and he couldn't wait to get back to the bunker and sleep in his own bed again. It really had been too long. 

As they crossed the Kansas line, Dean began to get worried. Alex didn't say she was going to start hunting, but she did say she wanted to dole out a little of her own punishment on the monsters of the world. What if she went into something without any backup like last time? She would've died if they hadn't gotten there when they did. Dean sighed. He had no idea what direction she was heading in, only that she'd call when she "landed somewhere." Whatever that meant. 

He contemplated calling her first. They were only a few hours away from home, and if they hurried, they could make it before she stopped. Dean glanced over at his brother asleep in the passenger seat. It was getting late, but there wasn't really a point in stopping this close to the bunker. 

Dean scratched at the scruff he'd grown while Alex was in the hospital. He didn't usually let it get so long, but at the time he didn't care. Now, though, it was starting to get a little irritating. He made a mental note to shave after calling Alex. That'd give him something to do while he definitely did not worry about who was watching her own the road. He scowled. Just thinking about her being out there where anyone could get her made him angry. She did good against the witch, but there were worse things lurking in the shadows that would love to sink their claws into a pretty girl like her.

Dean just prayed that she would be alright.  
_____________

Alex pulled her GTO into a parking spot and peered up at the sign glowing above her. "Blackwater Inn" it proclaimed, at least she thought it did. A few of the letters were no longer lit, so it looked more like the "Bla kw ter Inn." Alex didn't really care so long as it had running water and a clean bed.

She exited her car and walked around to the small trunk. Popping the lid, she surveyed her gear. Glancing around, Alex quickly grabbed Jack's old .45 and the knife Dean gave her and stuffed them in with her clothes. She slung the strap over her shoulder and shut the lid of the trunk before making her way over to the office and walking inside. 

The door buzzed as she entered the room, and Alex noted the sparse furnishings. A large wooden counter spanned the back wall and someone had added a cage around it so that you couldn't actually get behind it. To her right sat a small table with a grimy looking coffee maker, and to her left a few folding chairs were lined up along the wall. One night, she decided quickly. Then she was moving on. Alex forced a smile on her face, a trick she picked up waitressing years ago, and approached the counter.

"Excuse me," she said. The old woman behind the desk exhaled smoke before propping her cigarette on the edge of an ashtray. "I'd like to book a room just for tonight if you have any available."

The woman pursed her lips and huffed before clacking away on an old computer. "Just you?" She asked, raising a drawn on brow.

"Yes ma'am," Alex said as politely as she could muster. She was beginning to get irritated at the woman's rude behavior but figured showing it wouldn't get her very far. 

"Uh-huh." The woman returned to her typing and finally started printing out some paperwork for Alex to sign. "You payin' cash?" She asked as she slid the papers through the small opening in the cage.

Alex nodded and, after looking at the total and signing her name, counted out the cash. She slid both back to the woman and adjusted the strap on her duffel while she waited for change.

"Damn," the woman cursed.

"What's the matter?" Alex questioned, peering through the screen.

"Not enough change," the woman told her before taking another drag on her cigarette. 

Alex but her cheek before responding. "That's okay," she said grudgingly. "Just give me what you can and we'll call it square."

"Hmph. Square," she grumbled before sliding Alex's change back under the screen with a room key.

Alex thanked the woman and headed outside to find her room. Walking down the sidewalk, she glanced at the number on the keychain and searched for the right door. "Lucky number seven," she murmured and unlocked the door.

The inside was...as expected. A bed and end table were pushed against the far wall and a television sat on a rickety looking table by the opposite wall. Alex tossed her bag on the bed and made her way across the stained carpet (she'd definitely NOT be going barefoot) to a spot that presumably led to a bathroom. She flicked on the light, and it flickered a few times before coming to life. The bathroom was tiny. A toilet sat about a foot in front of the shower, and a dirty looking sink stood under a small mirror beside the door. 

"Charming," Alex groaned. She decided to order a pizza for dinner and called the nearest joint that would deliver to place her order. When that was settled, she attempted to turn on the tv but got only static. "Great. A shower it is." 

She showered quickly so as to not miss the delivery and had just finished dressing when there was a knock on her door. She pulled it open and paid the guy before locking it back and dropping the pizza box on top of the duvet. As she rummaged around in her bag for her coffee cup, her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Al, hey," Dean said. As soon as he'd parked the Impala, Dean raced to his room and dialed her number. 

She wedged the phone between her shoulder and ear as she poured a bit of cola into her cup and set it on the end table beside her. "Hey, I was gonna call you when I finished eating. I'm staying in some weird little motel outside of Uncertain, Texas. It's just west of Shreveport."

Alex heard Dean snort on the other end of the phone. "Uncertain? Really?"

"Yep," she said as she took a bite of pizza. "It's charming," she laughed.

"You couldn't have picked a stranger place to stop, could you?"

"Well, the motel is named Blackwater Inn if that makes you feel better." She held her breath as she waited for Dean's reaction. 

"Al?" he asked.

"Yes, Dean?" She returned with a grin.

"Is this some kind of suicide mission?"

Alex sobered quickly. "If I wanted to kill myself I would've done it already." She tossed her unfinished slice back in the box and took a sip of her drink. "Why are you calling, Dean? I told you I'd call when I got settled."

"I just," he paused and laid back on his bed. "I just wanted to talk, see how you're doing. Sam said something earlier and it got me to thinking."

Alex furrowed her brows. "Thinking about what?"

Dean closed his eyes and focused on her voice as she spoke. He was so screwed. "You're not thinking about hunting, are you?"

"Kinda," she admitted. "I've got a lot of studying and whatnot before I jump into it, but yeah. It's definitely crossed my mind." She returned to the pizza in front of her and took another bite.

Dean dropped a fist against his forehead and sighed. "That's not really a good idea, Al. You don't have any backup, and that's a surefire way to get yourself killed."

"Well it is what it is. If it's my time to go, I'll go."

"Please don't," he asked. "If you stumble onto a case, call me. We'll work it together."

"If I stumble into a case I can't turn away from, I'll call you," she said, "for advice. I'm a big girl, Dean. Time to start treating me like it."

"Dammit, Al. I'm trying to keep you safe here!" he insisted. "At least let me know the details of the case before you go on it, that way if I don't hear from you I'll know where to look."

"Sounds fair." She reached for another piece of pizza. "So what are the Winchesters doing tonight?"

"I don't know about Sammy, but I didn't plan on anything other than talking to you." Dean but his lip as he waited for a response. Sometimes he really pushed it with the things he said to her. Briefly he wondered how long it would be before she was ready for something more, maybe even something with him.

"Well," she said, settling back on her pillow. "Tell me a story, Dean. Tell me about one of the hunts you've been on."

"A story, huh?"

"Yeah," Alex said quietly. "I'm hoping your voice will make me feel less alone."

Dean stared up at the ceiling. Things like that are what hooked him in the first place. Alex had a knack for catching him off guard with her ever-changing moods. "You want funny or serious?"

"Mmm, funny," she told him. "But with a lesson. I want to know details about how you worked the case so I can learn."

Dean wracked his brain for a good one. "Okay," he said. Soon he was telling her all about the tulpa they took care of in Texas and how he and Sam played pranks on each other the whole time. She laughed a few times at the jokes and asked lots of questions as he explained how they finally beat it. Eventually the conversation trailed off and they each laid there listening to the other breathe in the other end of the phone. 

"Al?" Dean asked.

"Hmm?" She had almost fallen asleep, but sat up as he broke the silence. 

"Be careful out there, okay? Don't trust anyone."

"Okay, Dean."

"And, call me tomorrow. Let me know how things are going."

"I will," she said quietly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Al," Dean told her and hung up.

Alex looked at her phone as his name disappeared from the screen. Vaguely she wondered why she acted the way she did with him but chose to dismiss the thought as a side effect of drowsiness. She moved the pizza box onto the table and grabbed her gun and a blanket from the duffel on the floor before turning out the light.

She wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring, so she chose to ignore it and fell into a nightmare filled sleep showcasing witches and fire.


	3. Chapter 3

Fire.

Pain.

Smoke.

Air. She needed air.

Alex gasped in the darkness, clawing at whatever had her trapped. She grabbed the fabric over her head and gave it a good yank before sucking in a breath. Alex flopped back against the mattress and blinked a few times as her heart slowed, the rapid thud pulsing in her ears. It was that damn witch and the fight that nearly ended in Alex's death. She hadn't had any nightmares while in the hospital, whether it was from the painkillers or having someone else in the room with her as she slept she wasn't sure, but she did know one thing as she looked at the time on her phone. There was no way she was going back to sleep tonight.

It was just after 3:00a.m., and she wondered if anything in this town was open. Rolling out of bed, Alex grabbed her toiletry bag from the duffel and shuffled across the floor to the bathroom. The light buzzed to life, and she reached into the small shower to crank on the water, wincing as the icy stream splashed her skin. Alex stripped and wrapped her arms around her middle to ward off the chill in the tiny bathroom ad she waited for the water to warm up.

The bathroom light flickered once more as Alex stepped into the stall. She wet her hair quickly, hoping to spend as little time as possible in there. The whole place freaked her out. Maybe Dean was right, she thought. Maybe stopping here was a mistake. 

Alex hurriedly finished bathing and grabbed one of the towels hanging just outside the shower. She wrapped it around herself and squeezed the water from her hair before stepping out and shivering when her feet landed on the cold tile floor. Alex made a mental note to tell someone to check the heat in this room before she checked out. 

She pulled on her clothes and turned towards the mirror but paused before running the comb through her hair. Hadn't she shut the bathroom door earlier? Alex stared at the reflection in the mirror. The door was open about six inches, the end of her bed just barely visible through the crack. Closing any bathroom door was just a habit, but closing the door while in a hotel was for safety in case someone broke in. There's no way she would've left it open like that, especially when she was traveling alone. 

Alex placed the comb quietly on the counter and crept over to the door, peeking through the crack and seeing...no one. "Huh." She straightened and pushed the door the rest of the way open. Her room was just as she'd left it, not a thing out of place. "Weird," Alex mumbled. There was zero sign of anyone else having been there, but she just couldn't shake the feeling of being watched.

Walking over to the bed, Alex picked up her phone and held it in her hand as she contemplated calling Dean. It was still early, but still...

Alex shook her head and grabbed her keys before shrugging on her jacket. She needed coffee, like now.

The parking lot was empty except for her black GTO, but Alex kept her head on a swivel as she rushed to get inside. Thunder rumbled overhead, and heavy clouds covered whatever light the moon would have provided rendering everything around her nearly impossible to make out. She cranked the engine and backed out of the space, headlights flashing on the window to her room, and she could've sworn she saw a shadow just out of her eyeline as she sped onto the highway. Alex reached down and cranked the heat up as she scanned the local businesses for an open diner of some sort. Despite the oncoming storm, no matter what she did, she just couldn't get warm.

Finally she spotted a neon sign glowing in the window of a small restaurant and flipped on her signal. Alex parked her car and walked inside just as the first few drops of rain began to fall. The room was deserted save for a curly haired woman sitting in a corner booth and the waitress brewing a fresh pot of coffee behind the bar. The woman in the booth raised her mug and nodded at Alex as their eyes met before pulling her black leather jacket tighter around herself. Alex smiled back, a little uneasy at the interaction, and slid into a booth a few tables away.

"What can I get ya, hon?" the waitress asked. Her sudden presence shocked Alex, who hadn't heard her approach. "You alright?"

"Fine," Alex managed. "I just didn't see you there, sorry." 

"It's fine," the waitress, Brenda according to her nametag, said as she pulled out a pen and pad.

"Um, I'll have the platter and a coffee, black."

"Bacon or sausage?" 

"Sausage.

Brenda nodded as she wrote down the order. "Okay, I'll have it out soon as I can."

"Thanks," Alex called as Brenda hurried to the kitchen. She pulled her phone out and clicked on the search engine before typing in "paranormal," "temperature drops," and "flickering lights." After weeding through several ads for ghost hunts and horror movies, Alex stumbled onto an odd looking website. The banner at the top of the page appeared to be a long scroll with the words "Tales of the Dead" written across it in red. The text beneath the scroll was plain, precise, and to the point. Basically, it explained how when some people die, they hang around this world and attach themselves to certain people or items that may have been significant in their lives. It described them as being "mentally insane" and cited that as the reason many spirits chose to hurt people. 

Alex looked up and smiled as Brenda placed a cup of coffee in front of her before checking on the woman in the corner booth and walking back to the bar. Before Alex could return to her reading, the woman in the booth slid onto the bench across from her. "Can I help you?" Alex asked warily. 

The woman's dark eyes narrowed as she scanned Alex's face. Her plum painted lips curved up into a smile before speaking. "Alex Wade," she said softly. "You should be dead."

"Who are you?" Alex spit, heart thrumming against her ribcage. How the hell did this woman know who she was?

The woman stirred her coffee slowly, spoon clanking against the sides of the cup, before taking a long sip and crossing her arms. "Someone who knows all about you and those Winchesters you've been hanging around lately. I was keeping an eye on them, but when you cheated me, I got curious."

Alex's stomach dropped at the mention of the boys. "I've never even seen you before. How could I possibly cheat you out of something?"

"Ask them," she said. "Sam and Dean know all about it. It's a pity you fell in with them, Alex." Alex raised a brow in response, and the woman shook her head. "Those two are trouble with a capital 'W'. Move on, because I won't let you go so easily next time." She stood and headed for the door but stopped just as her hand landed on the knob. "Oh, and Alex?" she called. "You might want to get going. There's a nasty storm brewing." 

The woman disappeared outside, and Alex relaxed a little. She didn't know who that was, but she was smart enough to catch a hint and threw some money on the table before standing. Alex paused as she looked around. It was silent save for the soft popping of the fryer in the kitchen. "Hello?" She leaned over the counter to see if she could catch anyone back there. "Shit, Brenda," Alex gasped. The waitress lay on the floor, head twisted at an unnatural angle and blank eyes staring into nothingness. 

Alex backpedaled quickly and pushed the hair away from her face before scanning over the rest of the diner and bolting outside. The rain stung her face as she ran to the safety of her car, and her breath came out in cool puffs as she fumbled with the keys. She finally got the lock open and spun tires as she pulled away from the diner. She'd pick up her things from the motel room, but after that she was getting the hell out of Uncertain, Texas.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean groaned as he rolled out of bed and rubbed his face. His phone call with Alex the night before had lulled him into a place of deep relaxation, and he decided to forgo undressing and fell asleep in his jeans and flannel. Now, as he stretched his limbs and listened to the joints pop and crack, he was starting to regret that decision. Sure the memory foam was great and all, but getting tangled in a button up shirt as he tossed and turned made for a shitty night's sleep.

Dean grabbed his robe and made his way down the hall to the bathroom where he cranked the hot water on. Steam began filling the bathroom as he stripped, and it didn't take long for the mirrors above the row of sinks to fog over. Dean stepped under the shower spray and took a moment to just breathe as the water rolled down his body. Thoughts of the last few weeks, of Alex, filled his mind. 

He was fine, just fine with the way things were. Dean had always wanted to settle down, but the option just wasn't on the table for hunters, even dating someone would be difficult because it could never go any further, could never be...more. So, he screwed his way across America and hoped he didn't catch anything along the way. Dean had learned from his mistakes, and he knew better than to get involved with someone when it would only put them in danger. After Lisa and Ben, Dean eventually came to terms with his life and accepted a hard fact: he would always be alone. That's just how it was. That's how it had to be.

And along came Alex.

He knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't even have these kinds of feelings for a woman who just lost her whole family. Dean should've dropped her off at the nearest hospital and left as soon as he knew she was stable. 

But he didn't. 

He stayed and watched over her. He prayed for her. Him, Dean Winchester, who had only prayed maybe five times in his entire life, he begged and threatened Chuck to save a woman he had just met. When she woke up from the coma in a fit, he spoke softly in her ear and his battle hardened hands turned soft as he calmed her. Dean was there night and day to make sure she wasn't alone in case she opened her eyes for even a second. Sam tried to pull him away, said he was getting too close, that they couldn't form these attachments, not when everyone they came into contact with was at such a risk. "It's not safe," Sam told him gently. "If you really care for her, then you'll leave."

But he couldn't.

Dean answered all of Alex's questions honestly, didn't hold anything back, and when it was all said and done, she didn't run screaming. Alex was actually going to join the fight and kill some evil sons of bitches. "What an idiot," Dean huffed with a laugh as he rinsed the soap from his body. She was so hard headed, so determined to make sure that no one else lost what she had. It was just another reason for Alex to come with them.

But she wouldn't.

He understood, of course, but that didn't soften the blow when he had to drive away from her. It'd been less than twenty-four hours, and his heart was pulling in her direction. 

Dean dried off and cinched his "dead guy's robe" around his waist before wiping the condensation from a mirror with his hand. He placed both hands on the sink and leaned forward, staring his reflection in the eye and searching his face as his mind warred with his heart. Stay away, pull her close and protect her...

"Round and round we go," he muttered. 

"Who are you talking to?"

Dean jumped and spun to face the now open bathroom door. "Jesus, Sam! Learn to knock, would you?" He leaned against the sink amd crossed his arms over his chest as Sam smirked and threw a towel over his shoulder before walking over to the showers. "Seriously, dude," he continued. "You never know what you'll walk in on."

Sam scrunched his face in disgust. "Gross. Do that in your own room, not where everyone else has to shower."

Dean grinned and decided to press further. "Too messy, Sammy," he announced, walking over to the door. "I prefer the shower for easier cleanup. Oh, and uh, that fancy shampoo of yours is perfect for lube." He shut the door behind him as a balled up pair of socks sailed through the air towards his head.

Dean ran his fingers through his still damp hair and dropped by his room to grab his cell before heading into the kitchen for some coffee. It was only about six, but he wondered if Alex was up yet. When she was in the hospital, occasionally she'd make noises in her sleep, nightmares most likely, and wouldn't settle down until he assured her she wasn't alone. Dean knew what it was like to be haunted by what he'd seen, by those he lost.

Shaking his head, he turned and grabbed a mug from a hook and filled it with coffee. He took a small sip and closed his eyes, sighing as the bitterness spread over his tongue and warmed his throat. Dean walked into the library and took a seat at one of the long tables before propping his feet on the chair beside him and cradling the cup between his hands.

It was quiet, peaceful, and it had become a time of day that Dean enjoyed. The bunker was quiet for a few minutes as Sam got ready for the day, and Dean could close his eyes and pretend the world wasn't so bad. Nighttime brought with it depressing thoughts and horrific nightmares that he chased away with music, but the morning brought a peace that was incredibly rare nowadays. 

The sound of Sam's footsteps shattered the silence, and Dean opened his eyes. "Have you heard anything from Alex?" Sam asked as he sat down with his own cup of coffee. 

"Yeah I talked to her last night," Dean told him. No way was he going to mention that he'd been the one to call her. "She's staying at a motel in, get this, Uncertain, Texas." 

"Seriously?" Sam laughed.

Dean straightened and scratched at his face. "Yeah." He shook his head. "Man, she really has a weird sense of humor."

"I'll say," Sam mumbled as he lifted the screen on his laptop. They fell into a comfortable silence as Sam typed away on the keyboard and Dean returned to his coffee.

"Hey, you said she was staying in Uncertain, Texas, right?" Sam questioned after a few minutes. 

Dean looked at his brother and nodded. "Why? What's up?"

Sam huffed with disbelief and turned the computer so Dean could see the article he'd found. "Looks like a big storm blew through there last night, nearly wiped it off the map. It started off as a regular thunderstorm, but shortly before 4:00a.m. an F5 tornado dropped down out of nowhere."

Dean leaned forward, forearms on either side of the keyboard, and scanned quickly over the information. He scrolled down the page looking at the devastating images taken just after dawn. "There's nothing left," he whispered before looking up. "Sam, there's nothing left!" Dean scrambled for his phone and dialed Alex's cell, heart hammering in his chest as he listened to it ring.

"Hey, this is Alex. I assume you know what voicemail is so leave a message and I'll get back to you."

"Dammit, Al! Pick up!" He held the phone to his ear again and began pacing back and forth as he waited for her to answer. 

"Hey Dean," Alex said as she answered. 

He breathed a huge sigh of relief and braced a hand on the back of a chair when he heard her voice. "Al, where the hell are you?" Dean asked.

"Did you get her?" Sam whispered, and Dean nodded.

"Excuse me? What's with the attitude?" Alex questioned in response to Dean's tone and lack of greeting. 

"Sorry, it's just, Sam saw an article about Uncertain getting hit by a big storm this morning. Are you still there?"

"No, uh," she paused. "I actually need to talk to you about that. Is Sam there? He might want to hear this."

"Yeah, sure." Dean hit the speaker key and set the phone on the table between he and his brother. 

"Hey, Alex," Sam greeted.

"So what's going on?" Dean asked, taking his chair once more. "Why'd you leave town?"

Silence.

"Al?" he prodded.

"I met someone last night," Alex admitted. 

Dean furrowed his brows. "Who? You were going to bed when we hung up last night."

"A nightmare woke me up around three, and I knew I wouldn't be able to get anymore sleep, so I showered and went for some coffee, but there was this woman there who knew me, and she said she knew you guys, but she wouldn't tell me who she was, just that I had cheated her somehow and to stay away from y'all, but when she left, she told me to hurry and leave, too, but when I got up everybody was dead. Dead, Dean! Then I grabbed my stuff and hit the highway. I was getting gas when you called, so that's why I didn't answer..." Though she had rambled throughout the majority of her story, Alex slowed some at the end before trailing off quietly. 

Sam and Dean looked at each other as she spoke, attempting to figure out just who it was, but when Alex mentioned "cheating" the woman, Dean thought he had a pretty good clue.

"Hey, Alex?" he asked. "This woman you saw, did she happen to have an attitude and dark, curly hair?"

"Yeah," Alex said slowly. 

"Billie," Sam muttered before sitting back and running a hand over his hair.

"Who's Billie?" Alex questioned. 

"Death," Dean sighed. "Capital D."

"The hell does she want with me?!"

Dean looked to his brother, but Sam shook his head. "Tell you what, Al, I'll come meet you, bring you back to the bunker til we get this figured out. Where are you?"

"Just west of Abilene," she told him.

Dean picked up the phone and swiped his keys and jacket from the map table. "Head to Stillwater, Oklahoma. Don't stop, and only take the main highways til you get there. Call me when you're close, and I'll tell you where to meet me." 

"Stillwater, got it."

"I'm leaving now, so I should be waiting on you," he told her as he entered the garage. "Be careful, Al."

"I will, Dean. See you soon." She hung up and Dean pocketed his phone before starting Baby's motor. He took a deep breath and put her into gear before tightening his grip on the wheel. He didn't know why Billie had been following Alex, but he sure as hell wasn't going to sit around and find out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the last half of this chapter. I've tried to edit it, but for some reason it's not working out. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief as she pulled into the parking lot of a small burger joint outside of Stillwater. Dean was leaning against the trunk of the Impala, hands tucked in his jeans and the sleeves of his blue flannel rolled to his elbows and just soaking up the midday sun, but he smiled when he recognized her car. She parked beside him and barely had her seatbelt off before he was opening her door.

"Hi," he grinned, leaning on top of her door.

Alex felt her cheeks warm in response to the way he looked at her and grabbed her purse from the seat beside her before climbing out and coming face to face with the man as she stood. "Hey," she returned quietly. 

Dean grasped the curve of the metal between them to keep himself from reaching out to caress her face. He'd gotten used to little touches between them when she was in the hospital, but now he wasn't sure if he was allowed that privilege. "How was your trip?" he asked, voice low and rough. 

Now it was her turn to smirk, and she arched an eyebrow before responding. "I just found out Death herself has been keeping an eye on me, and you're asking about the drive?"

Dean dropped his gaze and huffed a laugh. "Yeah," he said. "Guess I am."

He's adorable, Alex thought fondly as she watched his reaction. "Well, it was long, I'm tired, and I could use a burger if you're interested?" 

Dean's face lit up at the mention of food. "Lead the way," he told her, taking a step back to allow her to pass by.

The small diner was crowded already, and Alex tried not to get too close to the other patrons as she and Dean wove their way to a booth at the back. "You okay?" he asked, leaning down to speak into her ear while they walked.

She tried to smile reassuringly, really she did, but it probably looked more like a grimace than anything. "Crowds make me nervous," she told him. "Small ones are okay, but this place is packed!"

"Let's just get to our seat, alright? Focus on that," Dean told her before placing a warm hand on the small of her back to guide her along. If he was trying to distract her, he was doing a damn good job of it.

They finally reached an open booth and Dean slid in with his back to the wall while Alex sat across from him. A waitress took their drink orders and soon returned with them before scampering off to check on her other tables.

He watched as Alex scanned the menu in front of her, her eyes moving quickly across the page. Her dark hair was pulled back into a bun, but a few strands had fallen loose and hung around her face. Every once in a while she'd brush them away from her eyes, but they'd fall right back into place only minutes later. She wore a loose grey tank top on top of a tight pair of faded jeans, and Dean frowned as he noticed the dark shadows beneath her eyes.

"You really didn't sleep much last night, did you?"

"Not really," she mumbled, still looking down. 

"Nightmares?" Dean guessed. 

Alex's eyes flew up to meet his in shock, and suddenly she looked vulnerable, almost scared, like he'd stripped away her walls and would attack at any moment. 

He shrugged and looked down to play with the peeling laminate on his menu before speaking. "You had a few in the hospital, and I just figured being alone for the first time in a while..." He trailed off swallowing and looked out the window, anywhere but at her face. Dean sucked at emotional talks, that was more Sam's thing.

Thankfully, the waitress appeared once more, saving them from the awkward silence. "Have you decided what you want to eat?" 

"Bacon cheeseburger, all the way, and can you fry an egg to put on it, too?" Alex asked as she handed her menu to the woman.

"Sure thing." She jotted it down and looked expectantly at Dean as he folded his hands in front of him.

"Uh, same, but add extra onion with fries on the side." The waitress nodded and scooped his menu up before walking away. Dean ducked his head and continued avoiding Alex's gaze.

"It was the fire," she said. Dean looked up at her when she spoke, and Alex took that as a sign to continue. "I could feel the heat on my skin and the searing pain in my shoulder where I was stabbed." Her brows pulled together as she talked, and her shoulders hunched slightly. "I felt the smoke choking me, and I," she paused, peering up at the man in front of her before continuing in a broken voice, "I felt A.J. against my chest."

Alex's heart ached at the thought of the little girl she lost, and she hastily swiped a tear from her cheek. Dean didn't say a word, he just got up and moved in beside Alex, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "I never got to say goodbye," she choked out. 

When she woke up from the coma, she found out the funeral home, not knowing what else to do with the body, had A.J. cremated and sealed her ashes in a container they deposited beside Jack's headstone. Alex didn't have the courage to stop by the cemetery before leaving town. She just couldn't handle seeing her family like that, and she wondered if she would ever go back.

"Sometimes we don't get to," Dean muttered. 

Alex looked up at him and saw the anguish in his green eyes. He seemed to understand exactly what it was like to lose people, and she briefly considered asking him about it before deciding against it. Instead, she gave him a small nudge.

"I'm gonna go wash my face," Alex explained. Dean nodded, a dejected look on his face, and moved back to his side of the booth so she could get up. 

Sitting in the back of a restaurant had its perks, Alex mused as she opened the bathroom door. It wasn't quite so loud, for one thing, and it meant she could get away with embarrassing moments without having the entire place look at her. 

Still, though, she continued to feel like she was being watched, so she squatted down to check for feet under the stall doors.

Nothing. 

"You're getting paranoid, Wade," she told herself as she ran some cool water in the sink and splashed her face. Alex wiped her face and tossed the paper towel into the trash before taking a deep breath. She released it slowly and walked out. "Oh crap! I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed when she ran right into a dark haired man who was easily a foot taller than her. He caught her as she stumbled, a hand wrapped around each of her upper arms, and smiled. "No, no," he told her. "It was my fault. I wasn't paying attention. Are you alright?" "I'm fine," she assured him before glancing down to where he still held her. "Really," Alex added a bit more firmly, "I'm okay." The bear of a man hesitated before releasing her and stood up straight. "My apologies, miss." With that, he sidestepped and entered the men's room. "Better?" Dean asked as Alex took her seat. "Somewhat," she said with a small smile. While she was gone, their food had been delivered, and she grabbed a few napkins before taking a big bite. "So," Dean started, grabbing a fry from his plate and popping it into his mouth. "So," Alex echoed. Dean narrowed his eyes at her response and grinned before shaking his head. "You had a run in with Death, huh?" Alex nodded and swallowed. "Yeah, I went to this diner, and she was sitting a few seats away. After I got my coffee, she just sat down and started talking to me. I had no clue who she even was." Dean smirked. "You know, when I met the first Death, it was in a pizza joint in Chicago." "Wait," Alex said, putting down her burger, "the first Death? There's more than one?" "Well technically there are tons of reapers who help guide souls into the afterlife, but the main lady used to be a dude. I killed him a few years ago, and the next reaper to die took the job, so when Cas took Billie out last year, she got a promotion." He took a big bite and chewed like he hadn't just completely blown Alex's mind. She regained control of the muscles in her jaw and attempted to form a coherent sentence out of the jumbled ideas currently zinging through her mind. "You," she pointed at Dean, "killed...and then Castiel, the guy that healed me yesterday..." Dean nodded as she spoke. "Wow," she said, sitting back and placing her hands on the edge of the table. Alex's eyes flitted across the surface as she processed what she just heard before locking back on Dean's. "How'd you kill Death?" Dean stared at her for a few seconds trying to decide just how much to tell her. "I used his scythe. I was supposed to kill Sam, but I stabbed Death instead." Alex tilted her head and leaned forward as she stared him down. "Dean," she said quietly, "why would you kill Sam?" So, Dean told her about the Mark of Cain, why he took it on, what it turned him into, and why he considered the deal with Death to be his last option. "I hated what I had become," he told her as he tugged on his earlobe and stared down at his food. "I wasn't me anymore, and I couldn't risk turning back into a demon, so..." he shrugged. "But you didn't go through with it," Alex reminded him. "No, I didn't. I chose family, and the world nearly ended because of that choice," he added bitterly. "Dean..." Alex reached out and placed a gentle hand on his arm, causing him to look up at her. "It was an impossible choice. You were screwed either way, but we're still here. The world is still turning." He swallowed and nodded. She looked so sure, so certain that he had made the right decision, but he never had let go of the fault that fell on his shoulders for taking the damn Mark in the first place. They could've taken down Abbadon another way, maybe she wouldn't have been dead, but they could have cut her into little pieces and buried her beneath the bunker, and Metatron would have still been defeated. Maybe his mom wouldn't be here, but Dean had a sneaking suspicion she had been happier in heaven anyway. "Hey," Alex whispered, shaking Dean from his thoughts. "Let's get out of here. I could use some rest before we head to the bunker, how about we get a couple of beds and call it a day?" "Yeah," he agreed, turning his gaze back to her face. "Okay."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Trigger Warning!***  
> This chapter includes suicidal thoughts. Please don't read if easily triggered.

"I saw a little motel just down the street from here. Wanna follow me?" Dean asked as they walked to their cars.

"Sure," Alex said, pulling her keys from her pocket. She needed a few minutes to herself anyway. 

They pulled into the lot of a shady looking motel, and Dean led the way into the lobby before pulling out his wallet to retrieve a credit card. "Two rooms, please," he told the man behind the counter. "Beside each other if you can swing it."

"Dean," Alex interrupted, tapping his shoulder. "I can pay for my own room."

"Nah," he waved her off and smiled. "No need." Dean held up his card, and Alex noticed the name printed on it wasn't his at all. She looked at him, a question in her eyes, but Dean ignored it and turned back to the desk.

"Looks like we only have the one room left, folks," the man told them. "You might have to share," he added with a wink in Dean's direction. 

"You don't have anything else?" Dean questioned.

The man shook his head and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his khakis. "Sorry, sir. Some big convention is in town, and we're just about booked up."

Dean pressed his lips into a line and turned to Alex. "What do you think?"

"I guess it'll be okay," Alex told him. "It's just for one night, so as long as there are two beds, I'll be good."

He looked back at the attendant and slid his card forward. "Looks like we're staying."

"Great! I'll get you signed in." They did the necessary paperwork, and the man handed them each a key before giving directions to the room.

Together Dean and Alex moved the cars closer to the room and grabbed their bags before unlocking the room.

"Son of a bitch," Dean mumbled once he flipped the light and got a look inside.

"What's wrong...well shit," Alex said as she walked in behind him. The room only had one bed, a queen size, and a small sofa was pushed up against the wall between the mini fridge and dinette table. She dropped her bag by the door and bit her lip as she tried to figure out a way to make it work.

"I'll take the couch," Dean said, interrupting her thoughts and tossing his duffel on the piece of furniture.

"Dean, no." Alex shook her head as he took a seat by his bag. "That thing's tiny! I'll sleep on the couch, and you can have the bed."

Dean grinned up at her. "Al, if you can move me, you can have it."

She put a hand on her hip and stared him down with narrow eyes. After a few long moments, she conceded. "Fine," she told him evenly and pointed a finger in his direction, "but if I hear you so much as whisper a single word in complaint tomorrow, your ass is mine." Alex dropped her arms and bent to grab her toiletry bag from her duffel along with a change of clothes. "I'm gonna get a shower. Do you need the bathroom?"

"Nah, I'm good," he told her, still grinning. "I'll check in with Sam, let him know we won't be heading back til tomorrow." 

Alex shut the door behind her and leaned against it. She hadn't shared a room with anyone since Jack died. Even Jessica had her own bed and bathroom downstairs when she moved in, so Alex wasn't sure exactly how it would work. She was used to maneuvering around her husband, not Dean. She had no idea what to expect from a hunter, or what he might expect from her for that matter. 

Alex sighed and pulled her hair down before stepping over and cutting on the shower. She undressed quickly and grabbed her razor and shampoo from the bag on the sink and reached in to test the water. 

"Perfect," she mumbled and stepped under the spray. 

It's funny how things become clearer in the shower. Maybe it's the lack of mental stimulation, or maybe it's the nakedness, the feeling of being bare and without protection. Whatever it is, the problems we run from or things we deny in the light of day smack us right in the face as the water cascades down our bodies. 

Alex's family was dead. She couldn't escape that thought no matter how fast she ran. Her husband and daughter were never coming back. She blinked as she rinsed the suds from her body and reached for the complimentary bar of soap the motel had provided. She didn't have a plan in place for losing them. Why would she? When Jack came into her life, Alex thought it was forever. Turns out, it was only for a little while. Now what? 

She picked up the razor and held it against her ankle but paused. It would be so easy, she thought. She could end it all right now and join Jack and A.J. on the other side. Maybe she had cheated death. Maybe she wasn't supposed to even be here. Maybe...she should have died right along with them.

The sound of the motel door being kicked shut broke her trance, and Alex hurried to shave her legs. It was going to be a long twenty-four hours.  
_____________

Once the bathroom door closed, Dean stood and fished his cell out of his pocket to call Sam. It rang twice before his brother picked up. 

"Hello?"

"Hey, man," Dean said. "Alex didn't get much sleep last night so we're gonna stay here and head back tomorrow."

"Really, Dean? I knew you had it bad, but you can't really be thinking about sleeping with Alex right now, can you?" Sam scoffed as Dean put up the necessary wards and salt lines around the room.

Dean stopped. "Yes, Sammy. It was my idea to stay overnight on a shitty motel sofa in a town less than eight hours away from my memory foam mattress, because that's exactly my idea of fun," he said dryly.

Sam paused, and silence hung between them for a few seconds. "Oh," he said finally. 

"Yeah, 'oh.' Dumbass." Dean finished laying down the salt in front of the door and put a clear piece of packing tape over top of it so they wouldn't break it if they went out later.

"So you're not planning on sleeping with her?" Sam asked.

"No, Sam, I'm not."

"Oh."

"Look," Dean told him as he put the salt canister on the table, "I'll probably spend tonight teaching her the basics of what she needs to hunt. You know, ghosts, vamps, werewolves, low level stuff she might have to handle. I'll call you if I need anything, alright?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you tomorrow."

Dean sighed exasperatedly as he ended the call. Sam could still be such a child sometimes, but then, so could he, so he really couldn't say much about it.

Once he finished putting up the wards, Dean looked around the room and headed for his weapons bag. He pulled out a few basic supplies: silver bullets, a machete, dead man's blood, and an iron crowbar. He set them up in a row beside the salt and reached back into his bag for his dad's journal.

Dean scanned the room once more before heading out to the car. There was one more thing he needed...


	7. Chapter 7

Dean kicked the motel room door shut and hefted the green cooler up onto a chair at the table before reaching in for a beer. He cracked it open and took a long pull, savoring the taste on his tongue. Everything he needed to give Alex a crash course on hunting was spread out on the surface in front of him, so he took a seat and propped his feet on the edge of the table to wait.

Soon enough, he heard the shower stop and some rummaging around while she dressed. He couldn't help it, really he couldn't, as thoughts of her drying off and dropping the towel came to mind. Dean was curious as to what she looked like without a scrap of clothing on, and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't considered it before. 

The sound of the bathroom door snapped him back to the present, and Dean dropped his feet and turned back to the table to hide any evidence of the track his thoughts had taken as she walked into the main room.

"What's all this?" Alex asked as she finger combed her hair.

"This," Dean said, nodding to the items spread across the table, "is Hunting 101."

"Oh. Okay," she said, an absent look on her face.

Dean furrowed his brows and studied the woman in front of him. "You feeling alright?"

"Hmm?" Alex's mind had started to wander back to the thoughts she'd had in the shower, but she quickly snapped back to attention and brushed it off. "Yeah, I'm fine. So," she said, taking a seat at the table, "where do we start?"

Dean pursed his lips but decided to let it go--for now. He pointed to his dad's journal. "This book is what Sam and I used as a reference for several jobs when we first started hunting together." He slid it across the table and tapped the worn cover. "Read it. There's a lot of useful information there."

"Okay," Alex nodded. She started to flip the cover open but was stopped by Dean's hand laying heavy across it. She sent a questioning glance his way, and Dean swallowed before speaking. 

"There's uh, a lot of other stuff in there, too. Some of it's not so nice, so just, you know," he said, scratching at his cheek. "You've been warned."

"Got it." She looked to the syringe filled with a dark liquid. "What's that?"

"Dead man's blood."

"You know, one of these days I'm going to stop being surprised by what comes out of your mouth."

He grinned at the flat way Alex spoke. It was cute. "This is like poison to vampires. It slows them down, but it won't kill them. The only way to do that," he told her as he picked up the machete, "is to cut their head off."

"So just inject them and chop their head off?" She questioned. "That seems...easy."

"Hey!" Dean barked, snapping Alex to attention in much the same way as his dad used to do. "Do not, under any circumstances, underestimate the monsters you face. They will always be faster, stronger, and more cunning than you in every way."

"Dean, I--"

"No, Alex." Dean shook his head. "If you can't take this seriously, then you're not getting anywhere near a hunt. You'll get killed, and I can't lose anyone else." His voice broke on the end, and he took a swig of beer to cover it up.

"Dean," she said gently, "I was going to ask what the catch was. This isn't a joke to me." 

Alex wrapped her hand around the handle of the machete and pulled it from the sheath, noting the way the handle felt worn down, as if it had been used by the same person for several years. She lightly ran a thumb along the razor like edge and came away with a shallow cut that oozed a single drop of blood. 

"How do you swing it?" she asked. "Like, what works best?"

Dean took it from her and stood back a few feet away so he wouldn't hit anything. He lifted the blade and paused, showing her each step as he explained it. "I think of it like one of those samurai blades. Grip it with both hands, pull back, and slice from the side so that you hit them in the neck. It might take you a couple of swipes to cut it all the way off at first, so be careful and don't take on too many at one time. These suckers like to travel in nests. Very rarely will you come across a loner."

Alex observed his movements closely, committing to memory the information as he spoke. When Dean finished, he held the blade out to her, handle first. She stood and carefully mirrored Dean's position before taking one slow practice swing. "Like this, right?"

Dean stepped up and adjusted her stance before nodding and stepping back. "Yeah, now try it."

Alex grinned, tightened her grip, and swung the machete, slicing sharply through the air. "This is actually pretty cool," she grinned. 

He scoffed as Alex took a few more swings. "Just wait til you've taken out three or four vamps after staking out the nest in the friggin rain." Dean crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. "Do that and then tell me how cool you think it is. The hell are you doing now?"

Her grin widened as she twirled the blade in her hand. "What's next?"

"Werewolves," Dean told her, grabbing the ammo box from the table. He cracked it open as Alex replaced the blade in its leather sheath. "These are silver bullets. One of these bad boys to the heart will drop 'em dead. Do you still have that knife I gave you?"

"Yeah." Alex dug through her bag and pulled out the large hunting knife. It was heavy in her hand, but Alex had yet to remove the leather sheath to take a look at the blade itself. She handed it to Dean, and he unsnapped the latch holding it in place.

It wasn't what she expected. The clip blade was about six inches long, but instead of the gleam of steel, it was dull. "Why does it look like that?" she asked. 

"It's made of pure silver," Dean told her, flipping it around to grasp the handle with the blade pointed downward. 

"Are you for real?" He nodded. "So that's why it's so heavy."

"You can stab a werewolf in the heart and kill it. Bullets are better to work with because you can kill from a distance, but any kind of silver burns werewolves and shapeshifters, so if you have to go hand to hand, this knife will do the trick. Several creatures can be killed by silver, but those two are the most common." Dean returned the knife to its sheath and handed it back to Alex. "Keep that and your gun close at all times," he told her seriously. "You never know when you'll need them."

"It's a little big," Alex commented, weighing the knife in her hands. "I'll have to get one smaller to hide on my person, cause this guy will stick out like a sore thumb."

"That's actually not a bad idea." Dean waited for Alex to put away the knife and sit back down before he handed her the crowbar.

"I'm not planning on doing any major renovations anytime soon," she said, raising a brow.

"It's for ghosts, smartass," Dean grinned. "They're repelled by pure iron or salt, but the only way to really get rid of one is to burn their bones or whatever object the spirit may be attached to."

"Their bones?! How? Dig them up?" Now it was Dean's turn to raise a brow. Alex shook her head. "No way."

"Yes way."

"You mean to tell me you go digging up coffins and burn them? In the middle of a cemetery?" Dean nodded. "Dude, that's illegal!" 

He chuckled and leant forward, resting his folded hands on the table. "Do you have any idea how many crimes I commit on a regular basis?" he asked. She shook her head. "Al, I have been on the FBI's most wanted list twice, and am technically considered dead by the authorities."

"Why? What did you do?"

He smirked. "Well, other than the slew of B and E's, credit card fraud, theft, and grave desecration, shifter me murdered some women, and then a couple of leviathans took on our pretty mugs before also going on a killing spree to trap me and Sammy."

She stared at him and tilted her head to the side. "So you didn't actually kill anyone right?"

"Al," he said quietly, "I've killed more than just monsters. I've killed people, too. If like to say they were all killers, all people who deserved it, but," he scoffed and shook his head, "some died just for the thrill."

Silence hung between them, thick and heavy, while Dean reached into the cooler for a fifth of whiskey. He got up and went into the bathroom before returning with a couple of plastic disposable cups. He set a cup at each of their spots on the table and poured them both large helpings.

Taking a seat, Dean propped his feet up on the cooler and downed the whiskey. "You're not saying anything," he told her as he poured another drink.

Alex pushed her hair back and took a sip herself before spinning the cup and speaking. "When you killed those people...were you, you?" Her eyes flicked up to meet his, caution, trepidation, and maybe a hint of fear all showing because of him.

Dean drank some more and looked down at the amber liquid. "I was a demon for most of it, if that's what you're asking, but it was still me." He glanced at her and smirked, though it didn't reach his eyes. "You make me talk too much."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled quietly. 

"S'okay." He stood and grabbed his jacket. "I'm gonna run and grab a few things at the store. You need anything?" Alex shook her head, and Dean nodded. "Okay," he said and walked out, the door closing loudly in the silent room.

Alex sat there for a few minutes before downing her whiskey and grabbing the bottle. The conversation had taken a dark turn, one she hadn't expected, and it was all a bit heavy. 

She pulled back the bedspread and crawled in before turning on the television. She grimaced at the options, but eventually found an old John Wayne movie. Sighing, Alex curled up and unscrewed the cap on the bottle. She took a long pull, feeling the burn spread through her veins, and settled in. She had a feeling Dean would be gone a while, and she really didn't feel like dealing with her own thoughts at the moment.   
_____________

Dean sat in the parking lot staring down at the keys in his hand. He didn't mean to reveal so much, but he wanted to be honest with Alex about everything. Lying to Sam or Cas always ended badly, always, and he'd be damned of he'd treat Alex the same way. He couldn't risk it, but at the same time, being so...raw might chase her off, too.

He stuck the key in the ignition and cranked his Baby before turning on the radio. Bob Seger's "Night Moves" began playing, and Dean rolled his eyes but left it and backed out of the parking space. The car idled for a few seconds as Dean contemplated where to go. He'd spotted a bar a few blocks over when he'd first rolled into town, but he needed some time to just be, so he cranked the music and drove.

Alex's expression when he told her he had killed people was seared into his mind. She was scared of him, but there was also some pain in her eyes as he told his story. Why it hurt her, he couldn't figure out. Maybe it was a reminder of losing her husband, but there were no tears, and usually the smallest mention of the man was enough to break her down. No, it was something else, something he'd have to decipher later. 

Dean saw a liquor store up ahead and threw on the signal light as he slowed. He'd left the whiskey back in the room, and he needed something strong to sip on as he sifted through all the feelings Alex had brought to the surface. There was too much going on in his head, and a little hunter's helper was just what he needed.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean pulled Baby into the parking spot beside Alex's GTO and cut the engine. After stopping by the liquor store, he'd driven until he found a quiet spot at some kind of park outside town. He'd stayed there for several hours sipping whiskey and listening to music as his thoughts ran wild. In the end, he had decided that being honest with Alex was the right thing to do. She had a right to know who she was dealing with, and it wasn't fair to hold back whenever she asked him something. 

On his way back to the motel, Dean had picked up a pizza and some more beers, so he grabbed those from the passenger seat and headed to the room. He pulled his keys from his coat pocket and started to unlock the door when he heard a man's voice from inside the room.

Being careful not to make any noise, Dean squatted down and placed the pizza and beers on the ground outside the door. He slowly moved into a standing position and reached for his gun, holding it down in front of him. He paused, listening to the voices in the room, and turned the doorknob before throwing open the door and scanning the room. 

"Jesus," he muttered. The only light in the room was coming from the black and white western movie on the t.v., but it was enough to relieve his fears, and Dean replaced his gun in his waistband. He turned around and picked up the food from outside and shut the door behind himself before putting his load on the dinette table. 

A rumpled mass of blankets and pillows were piled in the middle of the bed, and he stepped over to peek at the woman buried beneath them. Alex's hair was a tangled mess, her brow furrowed and a deep frown etched onto her face, and she clung tightly to the neck of the empty glass bottle in her hands like it was a life preserver.

"Al?" Dean whispered. She didn't so much as twitch when he spoke, so he reached out and pried the whiskey bottle from her grasp. Completely dry. Great. She must have drank whatever was left while Dean was gone and passed out. 

He brushed a strand of dark hair from her face and sighed. Alex would be an absolute wreck in the morning, but at least she was sleeping now. Dean threw away the bottle and traded his jeans for a pair of shorts and slipped off his flannel, leaving only a t-shirt, and settled in on the couch with a beer and slice of pizza while Clint Eastwood chewed a cigar and threatened people on t.v. 

Dean awoke sometime later to the sound of someone whimpering. He was instantly alert, eyes snapping open to search his surroundings for the noise, and sat up when he realized the sounds were coming from Alex. 

He wiped a hand down his face and stood before walking over to where she slept and laying a hand on her shoulder. "Al? Hey, Alex, wake up." Nothing. He squatted down beside her and gently rubbed her arm before trying again. "Al, you're having a nightmare."

Her breathing picked up and sweat was beading on her brow and upper lip, but still Alex gave no sign that she'd heard him. Instead, she clutched the sheet, hanging on for dear life, and breathed one word. "Jack."

Dean's heart broke for the woman in front of him, and it was clear that what had worked to bring her out of her nightmares in the hospital was no longer effective, perhaps due to the alcohol she'd ingested earlier, so he pried her fingers from the sheet and held her hand between his, squeezing lightly.

"Al," he said again, this time a bit louder.

She gasped as her eyes flew open, and her fingers wrapped tightly around his hand. "Dean?" she asked, eyes searching the face in front of her in the dark.

"Yeah, I'm here." He gave her hand another squeeze as her breathing slowed and the crease between her brows smoothed out. "You were having a nightmare. I didn't think I'd be able to bring you out of it."

She stared at him for a few seconds before glancing down to where he still held her hand, and Dean dropped it like he'd been burned before standing. "I'm sorry," he said, rubbing his neck. "I'll just--"

"Wait!" Alex's hand shot out and latched onto his forearm. "Please don't leave me," she begged. "Please don't go."

He hesitated, jaw ticking while she waited. Finally he nodded once, and Alex made room for him. Dean crawled in beside her and tested his head on the pillow she'd been using when he woke her up and watched while she got comfortable. She reached a tentative hand out across the sheets to him, and Dean took it, threading their fingers together.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Words failed to come as Dean stared into Alex's eyes, so he glanced down at their hands and swallowed. "You should get some sleep."

"Goodnight, Dean."

"Goodnight, Al."  
_____________

When Alex awoke, it was slowly. As consciousness overtook the darkness, she gradually became aware of her surroundings. 

Hot.

God she was burning up. 

She made to kick the bedspread off, but when her eyes blinked open, she realized it wasn't blankets draped over her, it was a body. She was staring at the black of a t-shirt and the tan neck of a man. She dared not move a muscle for dear of waking him. Instead, her eyes traveled down to wear she had the shirt fisted in her hands before moving back up to his face. 

Dean looked so peaceful, almost childlike, in his sleep. Every muscle was relaxed, his lips parted slightly and eyelashes fanned softly across his freckled cheekbones. She could just barely make out the tousled strands of hair sticking up from his head and the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed in the dim light. 

He sniffed and twitched his nose a couple of times before swiping at it with his hand, but froze when his arm hit Alex in the process. His eyes cracked open and searched for what he'd hit. When his eyes landed on Alex's face, he cleared his throat. "Hey," he whispered, voice rough with sleep. 

"Hi." They stared at each other for a few seconds before she found the courage to speak again. "We didn't..." she trailed off, referring to the interesting position they woke up in. She'd had a lot to drink the night before and prayed she hadn't done something she'd regret later. 

"You had a nightmare," he explained, rubbing his eye. "I wasn't sure if I could wake you up, but when you finally did, you asked me to stay." He grinned sleepily as a thought occurred to him. "Trust me, if we'd done something more, you'd remember."

She blushed, glancing down to where she still clutched his shirt, and released it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"S'okay. I slept better than I would have on the couch." She nodded and Dean rolled onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. "We have to leave in a few hours, head back to Lebanon."

"Okay," she said, propping up on an elbow, head on her hand. "Breakfast?"

Dean grunted in agreement and sat up on the edge of the bed. "I'm gonna shower and shave," he told her over his shoulder. "You need the bathroom?"

"I've just gotta use the restroom, but I'll be quick," she told him, getting up and walking into the other room. 

Dean hung his head and sighed as he heard the door shut behind him. He hadn't meant to stay in bed so long. In fact, he'd planned on getting up early and grabbing them both coffee, but he'd been too comfortable lying beside her. Maybe he enjoyed holding her close like that. Maybe, just maybe, it was the best night's sleep he'd gotten in years. He'd relive the peaceful feelings lying beside her have him for a long time, he was sure of it.

In the bathroom, Alex's mind was whirling. She couldn't believe she'd slept in the same bed as Dean, and, even though nothing had happened between them, she still felt as though she'd cheated on Jack somehow. She wasn't ready for something new yet, it hadn't been long enough, or that's what she'd been telling herself anyway. 

Alex didn't think she'd ever get over losing her husband, but still, Dean had started to worn his way into her heart, whether she liked it or not. They shared an interesting bond, one that prompted them to drop their walls and share everything with each other. It scared her how much comfort she took in his presence, and it terrified her how much time she spent thinking about him. Or maybe, a small voice whispered in her mind, maybe it's okay to let yourself find someone else, to let yourself be happy. 

She needed coffee, stat. Maybe that and the long drive would help settle her some. She finished up and flushed the toilet before walking back into the main room.

"It's all yours," she smiled and went to pack up her things. Dean nodded and brushed by her quickly without a word. 

A few minutes later, Alex was brushing her teeth in the sink when the bathroom door opened. She glanced up to tell Dean she was almost ready when her voice caught in her throat. 

Standing in front of her was Dean wearing only a towel around his waist. There were still tiny droplets of water on his skin, and Alex followed one as it ran down his chest to his abdomen before disappearing in the towel. 

"I just, uh, I forgot my underwear," he said, scratching the back of his head and looking away. 

Alex knew she was staring like an idiot, but dammit she couldn't stop herself. Except for a thin layer of fat over his abs, the man was friggin ripped. She wanted to say something, anything, but her mind wouldn't work for anything in the world, so, toothbrush still hanging from her mouth, Alex just nodded in response. 

Dean ducked his head and walked as quickly as he could without losing his only cover over to his bag. He slung the whole thing over his shoulder and disappeared back into the bathroom without another word, as his ears and the back of his neck turned an adorable shade of pink.

"Holy shit," she finally managed, eyes still on the door. "Oh I am so screwed."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, fair warning, this went a little darker and longer than I intended. ***Warning for rape/non-con applies to this chapter.***

"You ready to go?" Dean asked, duffel bags in his hand. After waking up together and then the towel incident, the two had packed up fairly quickly, but then, you can get a lot done if you don't talk. 

Alex zipped her bag and pushed her hair back as she looked around the room. She didn't think they'd missed anything, but she wanted to be sure. Finally, she nodded. "Yeah, I think we're all set."

Dean swallowed, his hand tightening around the bags' handles. "Okay. I'll just check us out and meet you at the cars." 

He left the room in a rush, and Alex tried to brush it off as she slipped the strap of her duffel over her shoulder. She stepped over to the door before taking one last look around and walked out into the early morning air.

"Ugh," she complained, looking at the grey sky. "I'm getting really friggin tired of rain." 

Alex walked over to her GTO and tossed her bag in the backseat before sliding behind the wheel and cutting on the radio. She smiled and dropped her head back onto the seat with her eyes closed as REO Speedwagon began playing.

It started out as humming along, but at some point Alex began to sing. "And I meant, every word I said, when I said that I loved you I meant that I loved you forever. And I'm gonna keep--"

"Pretty voice to match a pretty face." 

Alex sat up quickly, and a firm hand on her wrist kept her from reaching for her gun. She clenched her jaw and looked at the man who held her, recognizing him immediately as the guy she'd run into at the diner yesterday. He smirked wickedly down at her, as she raised a brow and opened her hand wide in surrender.

"Can I help you?" she asked, praying silently for Dean to hurry his ass up. 

"Ya know," he said lightly, "I think you can." He gestured to the ignition. "Grab the keys and let's go."

"You're joking, right? I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Oh sweetheart." He shook his head. "It's funny that you think you've got a choice. Your boyfriend thought the same thing." Her eyes widened at the implication in the man's voice, and his grip on her wrist tightened painfully as he jerked her out of the car. 

Shit, this guy's strong, Alex thought as she fought to release his hold on her. She used her other hand to slam the GTO's heavy door into the man's side before putting it between them and yanking down. He cried out as his arm hit the top of the window and grabbed Alex's hair with his other hand, twisting it in his fist. She kicked at the side of his knees when he rounded the car door, but his hold was strong, and he retaliated by slamming her head into the hood of the car once, twice, and a third time. She came away dazed and was vaguely aware of the blood running from her nose, but still she fought.

"Damn, you sure are a feisty one, aren't you?" he grunted, releasing her wrist and throwing her to the ground face first. He placed a knee on her back, pinning her to the asphalt, and leaned down to sniff at her exposed neck. "Mmm, you smell divine," he murmured into her ear. "Time to go sweetheart," he said as he applied more pressure to her back, forcing air out of her lungs and keeping her from being able to draw in a breath.

She fought the dark spots at the edges of her vision, but they slowly grew until she couldn't see anything. The last thing Alex's mind registered was a sharp pain in her neck, then nothing.  
_____________

"Al? Al, wake up!"

The voice was muffled but Alex recognized it immediately and did her best to follow his instructions, but she was tired, so very tired. 

"Al, you've got to get up! Please! Open your eyes!"

She groaned and cracked open bleary eyes as the voice continued. She was cold, too cold, and something told her to push off the concrete and sit up, so after a couple of tries, she finally managed to rest her back against the steel bars beside her. She blinked a few times trying to clear her vision. When she finally managed to see more than two feet in front of her, Alex's face twisted with confusion. 

"Dean? What the hell happened?" she asked, rubbing the back of her neck. "Ow," she mumbled, bringing her hand in front of her face to peer at the dark sticky substance. 

Dean was pressed against the other side of her cage, hands wrapped around the bars as if he could pull them apart. "Vampires," he told her quickly. "They jumped me and brought me here. A few minutes later, another one carried you in. He already fed on you once, but you won't survive it again." His face crumbled with the memory. "God, Al, I thought you were dead."

Alex closed her eyes and leaned her head against the bars. "Yeah, well, 'm not."

"Hey, hey, hey," he said urgently. "Keep those eyes open. I don't know how much blood you lost."

She just wanted to go back to sleep, and a glare in Dean's direction told him that, but he was relentless. 

"Can you make it over here?" he questioned. 

Alex eyed the short distance and nodded before leaning forward and crawling over to where Dean sat. She curled up beside him and Dean wrapped his arms around her as much as he could with the bars in the way.

"How long have we been here?" she mumbled as he stroked the side of her face.

"Several hours, but less than a day. I'm betting we were the last haul from last night, so they're probably still sleeping."

"That's nice," Alex muttered, looking around the small area. "Any idea why they didn't just kill us outright?"

"Sometimes nests keep people for several days, feeding on them until they die. That way they don't have to go out every night," he explained. 

"Who else is here?"

"There's an open cage in my other side, but beside it is a guy. He's barely spoken since I got here, though. I think he's in shock." Dean glanced over his shoulder, and sure enough the man was just laying flat on his back in the cell and staring up at the ceiling. He wasn't even sure if the guy was still alive. 

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

Alex turned to look at him through the bars and noted the bruises on his face and slight swelling of his bottom lip. "Do you have a plan?"

He swallowed and shook his head lightly. "Sam should be looking for us by now, but other than that, we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I don't have any weapons with me, and going hand to hand with a vamp isn't exactly my idea of fun."

"Well shit," Alex grumbled. Her eyes were adjusting slowly to the dim light of the room, and she could now just barely make out the walls around them. It looked like the inside of an old garage, and she wondered vaguely if they might be able to reach some of the tools scattered around.

"You're taking this better than I thought you would," Dean commented, tightening his arms around her.

"Apparently getting kidnapped by monsters is what I do now, so no, I'm not surprised this happened. I'm just ready to get out of here." She relaxed in his hold and buried her face in what she could reach of Dean's shirt. Funny, the smell of motor oil was all around them, but only when it was mixed with gunpowder did it calm her.

Dean scanned the area just on the other side of Alex's cell. "You know, you're close enough to the wall over there that you might be able to reach something we can use."

"Like what?"

"Well a saw would be ideal, but a file or large screwdriver could work, too." He released her, Alex groaning at the change, and pulled his belt from his pants before removing a boot and sliding the belt through the small loop at the too. He passed the items over to Alex. "Throw my shoe towards anything that might come in handy and drag whatever you can back over here."

Alex nodded and scooted back over to the other side of the cage. Her eyes searched the area for a minute before landing on a milk crate under the workbench filled with odds and ends. She held tightly to one end of Dean's belt and tossed his boot with the other. "Shit," Alex hissed and pulled it back in. Not only did it come up short, but the heavy thud as the boot hit the ground was enough to wake the dead, literally. 

"Keep going," Dean urged her as he kept an eye on the door.

Alex threw the boot two more times before it finally landed in the crate. She bit her lip and tugged gently, testing the security of her makeshift hook, before pulling the whole thing over, the contents spilling out across the floor with a clatter.

Adrenaline flooded her veins at the sound, and she paused, looking over her shoulder at Dean, but he was still watching the door, muscles coiled and ready for action. Voices came from the other side of the door, and Alex yanked the boot back quickly before scuttling across the concrete to pass Dean his belt and show back.

"...can't believe you fed on her already!" a man's voice said as the door opened.

"Well what was I supposed to do, huh? Her nose was bleeding everywhere! I couldn't help myself!"

Two men walked in, one Alex recognized as her attacker and the other as the hotel manager. Her eyes widened and she gave Dean a look, who simply nodded in response and kept his eyes locked on the monsters. 

"Well now," the manager said, hands in his pockets as he looked down at Alex. "You did wake up, didn't you?" When she didn't say anything in return, he continued. "Where's that sharp mouth I heard about? Surely one night with your friend here didn't train you that fast."

"Listen here, you son of a bitch," Dean growled. "When I get out of here, I'm gonna kill you first."

The manager turned to the other vampire and smirked. "You believe this guy?" He faced Dean again and knelt down in front of him, their faces only inches apart. "I'm going to go play with my dinner, see what kind of tricks you taught the whore last night. You be a good boy, and I might just let you watch." Dean's expression darkened, his face menacing and a snarl forming on his lips that scared even Alex at the moment. "If you're not a good boy, I'll let Simon here play with what's left of her when I'm done." 

He grinned and stood up before strolling over to the door of Alex's cell. She scooted back as far as she could get and curled up in the corner, arms wrapped tightly around her legs. 

"Aw, don't be like that," the manager said as he unlocked the door. He poked his head in and raised a brow. "I can hear your heart racing. The thought of us using you while your boyfriend watches turns you on, doesn't it?"

Dean lunged across his cage and grabbed the manager's hair tightly before pulling him back against the bars and wrapping an arm around the monster's neck, but a yelp from Alex stopped him from doing anything more.

The other vamp, Simon, had Alex in a similar position, but he held a bloody forearm in front of her face. "Let him go or I change her, right here and now. Her first meal will be you." Dean glanced down at Alex's face, reading the terror in her eyes, and let go of the monster roughly, pushing the freak away. "That's a good boy. Now back up," he ordered. Dean snarled but did as instructed. 

The manager crawled to where Simon still held Alex and wrapped a hand around her ankle, dragging her out of the cage as she fought to escape. "Be still!" he barked as he backed out of the cage.

Dean rushed back to the bars between himself and Alex and grabbed her hand as she reached for him. "Dean!" she cried, rolling onto her belly and wrapping her other hand around his forearm. He was desperate to do something, anything to save her, but as the manager gave a hard pull, Dean lost his grip and Alex was dragged out into the floor of the shop.

"Al!" he screamed. "Fight 'em! Fight hard!" He scowled at Simon as he laughed at the two trying to stop the inevitable. 

The manager slammed Alex down on her back and caught her hands with his before pinning them down on either side of her head. "A little help here, Simon?"

Simon sighed and walked over to where the manager was straddling the woman. He pulled a pair of cuffs from his pocket and secured first one, then the other around her wrists before backing away again. "I'll leave you to it, boss," he said and walked out.

"Just us now, slut," the manager whispered in her ear and licked down her neck. Alex cringed, turning away from him to stare at Dean. He looked so helpless pressed up against the bars like that as he continued telling at her to fight.

She heard the distinct sound of a belt buckle and zipper before using her hips to try and buck the monster off. "Stop fighting what you want," he growled as he pinned her arms above her head and ran his other hand down her body to her jeans. 

"No!" she sobbed, still trying to get him off. "Get off me!"

The manager ripped her jeans down and forced a finger inside her, stroking a few times as her body betrayed her and began to slick up. He grabbed her hips with both hands and lined himself up before plunging deep inside of her and setting a brutal pace that rocked her body.

Alex used the momentary distraction to reach out for something she could use as a weapon. Her hand closed around the handle of something, and she looked up as the monster above her closed his eyes and moaned. It was a short crowbar, heavy, but it could work.

She flipped it around so that the flat end was facing away from her and used all her strength to plunge it up into the vampire's neck. His eyes flew open with shock, and Alex used her momentum to push him off of her and force the crowbar deeper ing his neck. His voice gargled out and Alex raised the bar high above her head before plunging it down again and again until she'd cut through his neck.

Alex tossed the crowbar to the side and backed away, sobbing as she stared down at the lifeless creature. Gradually she became aware of Dean still in his cell,and she hurriedly pulled the keys from the hotel managers pocket and unlocked his cage door. 

Dean immediately wrapped her in his arms and tried to soothe her as much as he could. "You're okay, Al. It's fine. He's gone." He held her face in his hands and waited until she looked up at him before he spoke again. "I'm sorry, Alex, but we've still got one more to deal with. Think you can help me?" She nodded and he pulled her in again, kissing the top of her head. "Okay." 

He let go of her and settled her on a stool not too far away as he searched the room for a better weapon. Finally, he came across a large file and took Alex to stand behind the door with him as they waited.

Eventually, Simon returned, and Dean jumped him before straddling the monster's torso and forced the file down on his neck. Simon growled and fought, but Dean added pressure to the file and forced it through his neck with a growl of his own. 

He stood, panting, and turned back to face Alex. She had a blank expression on her face as she looked down at the vamp, but as her eyes rose to meet his, Dean watched as she broke down, tears spilling over and running down her face. He unlocked the other cell and checked the man inside, but swore as he failed to find a pulse.

Alex had her arms wrapped around her middle and had sunk down to the floor as she cried. Dean crouched in front of her and grabbed her hand before pulling her into a standing position. 

"Let's go," he whispered, holding a finger to his lips. He didn't know how many more were out there, but he had to get Alex out and fast. 

He led her to the door and checked the small hall before pulling her out with him. He crept slowly down the hallway, ears straining for any sounds, and carefully rounded the corner into a tiny living area. He searched through everything until he found a phone and called Sam.

"Hello?"

"Sammy, hey."

"Dean? Oh thank God."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day.
> 
> You lucky dogs, you.

Alex and Dean were sitting on a bench outside of the abandoned fill up station when the Impala roared into view. Dean glanced up as Sam parked the car and ran towards them, but he refused to remove his arm from around Alex's shoulders. 

"Dean!" Sam shouted as he got closer. "Are you alright?" he asked, looking between the two. Alex was curled against Dean, her head on his chest, and didn't even flinch when Sam showed up. She just continued staring at the ground. 

Dean offered a small smile and gestured with his head towards the door. "Got two vamps and one dead body inside. Do you mind taking care of it for me? I'm gonna get Alex to the car."

Sam looked again at Alex and furrowed his brows, a silent question in his eyes when Dean shook his head slightly. "Uh, yeah, sure. I'll just get the stuff from the trunk." 

Dean let Sam get back to the car before he nudged the woman in his arms. "Al? You ready?"

She didn't say anything, just sat up and let Dean stand before taking his hand and allowing him to lead her to Baby's backseat. He opened the door, and Alex got in and slid across the seat so Dean could follow. 

He leaned against the door and opened his arms so that Alex could lay down on his chest once more. She screwed her eyes shut and clung to his shirt while he lightly ran his fingers up and down her back.

Dean cleared his throat and asked, "Do you need anything for pain?"

"Not right now," she mumbled. "Can I, can I just stay like this for a while?"

"You can have whatever you want, Al."

She nodded against him and felt him kiss her hair as she tightened her grip on him.

She must have drifted off, because the next thing she knew Dean was gently coaxing her to wake up. Alex sat up and looked around as Sam put the car into park at the motel where they'd left her car. Dean opened the door and held out a hand for Alex as she got out behind him. He wrapped one of his jackets around her and led her to the front seat.

"Sam's gonna follow us in your car back to the bunker," he explained, opening the front passenger side door. Again, she didn't say anything, just slid into the car and sat motionless, waiting for Dean to get in. "Okay," he said, crouching beside her. "I'm gonna talk to Sam, then we can go. I'll be right back."

Alex followed him with her eyes as met Sam between the two cars. Sam asked something, a concerned expression on his face, and Dean shook his head before looking down and placing his hands on his hips. Whatever Dean told him caused Sam's eyes to dart to Alex in shock. Dean held up a hand in front of his brother's chest, looking up and saying something else as Sam ran a hand through his hair and blew out a large breath before nodding once and glancing away. They shared a brief hug before Dean turned and walked back to the Impala. 

He got in and pulled out of the parking space before Alex laid across the seat, her head resting on Dean's thigh. They were several miles up the road when she finally spoke.

"I'm guessing you told him."

Dean swallowed and took a breath before nodding. "Had to." His eyes shifted down to meet hers before flicking back up to the road. "Al, we don't know if blood is the only body fluid that can change humans into vampires. You aren't showing any signs of the change, but we have to be sure."

"How?" she asked, watching the muscle in his jaw as it ticked.

"We' ll watch you closely for signs. We've got the stuff for a cure, but if we give it to you without knowing if you're changing, it could kill you."

"So?" she muttered, looking away.

Dean slammed the brakes and stared down at her with a barely concealed rage. "So?" he gritted out. "So? Alex, what the hell?"

She sat up, shrinking back to the passenger seat as Dean fumed. He gripped the steering wheel and closed his eyes tightly before releasing a slow breath. "Al?" he asked quietly, turning his intense gaze on her face. "Don't think like that. Hit me, scream, get blackout drunk, but please, please don't get that in your head."

Alex crossed her arms over her chest and tried to look out the window, but Dean scooted across the seat and took her face in his hands, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb. "I need you, Al," he admitted, drawing her eyes back to his. "I can't," he swallowed, "I can't lose you. I'm sorry if that makes me needy, or a sap or whatever, but it's true. You've suffered too much, and I get that, I do, but you are so much stronger than that."

"You get it?" Alex huffed a humorless laugh before pulling away. "Dean, that...thing was inside of me! How do I, I mean what am I supposed to do with that? How could you possibly understand it?" She crossed her arms again and clenched her jaw, trying to stay the tears that never seemed to end these days.

"Hell," Dean answered roughly. 

"You're damn right it was," she muttered. 

Dean ran a hand down his face. "No, Al, I'm serious." She looked up at him curiously, not quite understanding what he was saying. He sighed and sat back, not meeting her eyes. He'd said he was gonna be honest, so he pushed back the walls he'd built and spoke. "Sam died. Some kid cut through his spinal cord and he died, right in front of me." Dean shook his head and glanced over at her. "I caught him as he hit the ground," he said, voice breaking on the last word. He drew in a shaky breath and continued. "It's always been my job to take care of him, and I failed. Dad was gone, Mom was gone, and now Sammy...I couldn't take it. So, I made a deal. It was stupid, and don't let it give you any ideas either because deals go bad, but I did it. I got Sam back and one year above ground before a hellhound shredded my chest and sent me straight to the basement. Uh, time's different there. Here it was only four months, but down there it was forty years."

He ignored Alex's sharp intake of breath and continued. "I was tortured, pulled apart in ways I didn't know were possible, until finally I decided to dole out some punishment of my own. I was so tired of the pain and feeling so...violated..." He trailed off, reliving the terror he felt as Alistair impaled him, and he shuddered. 

"What happened?" Alex asked quietly. 

"I turned around and took out my frustrations on others until Cas pulled me out. When I dug myself out of that grave, I wanted to die all over again. The guilt consumed me, and I'll never be able to make up for what I did down there. No matter how many lives I save, it'll never be enough." 

Alex pushed her hair back and stared down at her hands. Dean had been through more shit than anyone should have to endure, but he was right. He did understand. 

She slid over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she placed a kiss on his cheek. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"No, you have every right to be angry, but I just can't lose you, Al." He turned to look at her, their noses almost touching, and said, "I need you."

Alex's heart hammered away in her chest as she stared at him. "Dean," she whispered, the pain written on her face.

He reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she closed her eyes, nuzzling into his hand. "Can I...?" he asked, searching her face.

Alex met his gaze and gave a tiny nod before he moved forward a fraction of an inch, giving her plenty of time to change her mind. She pressed forward and lightly brushed her lips across his, and that was all the push Dean needed.

He pulled her close, his lips moving against hers, and lightly ran his tongue across her lower lip, groaning as she opened for him. Her taste was intoxicating, sweet, and he couldn't get enough of it. She broke away for air, and Dean kissed down her jaw to her ear where he tugged gently on her earlobe with his teeth.

"Oh my god," she breathed, pulling his face back to hers. They kissed again before resting their foreheads together while they caught their breath.

Dean swallowed and tried to tamp down the fire Alex ignited within him. Not now, he told himself. Maybe later, after she healed, if she still wanted him. He placed another chaste kiss on her lips before turning back to the wheel and putting the car in drive. As they pulled away from the shoulder of the dark road, he wrapped an arm around Alex and pulled her close. Dean couldn't get enough of the woman in his arms. He'd tried staying away, but he didn't have the willpower anymore. 

Alex reached down and cut the radio on, and Dean sang quietly in her ear as Led Zeppelin crooned from the speakers.


	11. Chapter 11

Just as they neared the Lebanon city limits, Dean turned off the highway onto a small dirt road, and as they rounded a corner, Alex saw a garage door at the bottom of a large brick building. Dean got out and left the car idling before raising the door and getting back in. He shot a grin at the woman beside him and revved the motor.

Surprised wasn't a strong enough word to describe Alex's reaction to seeing the line of classic cars and motorcycles in the garage. Stunned maybe, but even that fell short at the moment. 

"Oh wow," she breathed, taking in the glossy paintjobs and mirror-like chrome. 

Dean barely had Baby stopped before Alex was bolting for the nearest car. He smiled as he got out and leaned on the open door to watch her. Her dark eyes were large and round, and her mouth formed a nearby perfect "O" each time she stepped up to another vehicle. She leaned in closely to peer at the interiors and many times reached out to brush her fingertips along the bodies before pulling back at the last second and curling her fingers into a fist as it fell back to her side. Alex was a kid in a candy store, running this way and that whenever something caught her eye, and Dean couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. She was going to be okay.

Sam pulled in shortly after they arrived and came over to stand beside his brother. He dropped his bag and crossed his arms over his chest. "She seems pretty good, considering what she's been through," he commented. 

Dean nodded. "She's stronger than she looks, Sammy. She's not over it by any means, but that right there," he said, pointing in her direction, "that's the real her. It only shows through every now and then, but it's still there." 

"Did she know how to kill them before it happened?"

"We went over a few things last night, or I guess it was the night before last, but I taught her the basics. A lot of good it did her though," Dean muttered darkly, his mood clouded by what that freak did to her.

"Dean, it saved her life. As gross as it was, she knew what she had to do to take him down when she found a weapon." Sam glanced over at his brother, who was now resting his chin on a fist, eyes never leaving Alex. 

"I should've stopped it," Dean whispered. 

"You couldn't have. You were trapped."

"Doesn't matter. I should've killed him before he had a chance to lay a hand on her. She'll always carry what happened because I couldn't take care of her." 

They silently watched Alex for a few more minutes before she practically skipped back to where they stood. "That was awesome! Do you do all the upkeep on them?" she asked Dean. He nodded, and her brows pulled together. "What's wrong?"

He took a breath and tried to shake off the feelings he had been stewing in as she walked up. "It's nothing. Ready to see the rest of the place, or do you want to find a room and get some sleep?"

Alex bit her lip and looked over her shoulder at the cars again before coming back to Dean's face. "Actually I could really use a shower," she told him, gesturing to her clothes. "You know, monster blood and all that."

Dean pushed off his car and grabbed Alex's bag from the GTO before reaching for her hand and leading her down the hall. Sam smirked at his brother as their footsteps faded. Looked like Alex was going to be staying a while.  
_____________

"This is my room," Dean said, opening the door and flicking on the light. It was neat, a few weapons arranged artfully on one wall and a record player in the corner beside a stack of albums. "The bathroom is right down the hall on your left, and you basically have your pick of rooms except for the one Cas stays in, but it's usually locked when he's gone, and Sam's is on the next hall over, so, yeah." He scratched at a spot behind his ear and dropped her duffel inside the door before sticking his hands in his pockets. 

She placed a hand on Dean's arm and smiled shyly up at him. "Thanks. I won't be long." Alex took her bag and carried it down the hall, checking in each doorway before finding the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. The room was large, the showers all lined up locker room style, and a row of sinks ran under a mirror on one wall. "Where the heck are the toilets?" she muttered, turning around. She pulled the door open again and yelled down the hall. "Hey Dean?"

He popped his head out of his door, shoulders bare and shirt in hand. "You alright?"

"Where do you poop?!"

Dean laughed, his head thrown back and eyes crinkling at the corners. "There's a half bath in every room," he chuckled. 

"Oh thank God," Alex said, hand on her chest. "I was seriously concerned for a minute there!" She shut the door again as Dean's laughter continued and went about gathering some comfy clothes and prepping the shower. 

She stopped as her eyes caught her naked reflection in the mirror. There was blood splattered over her chest and neck, and Alex lightly ran her fingertips over the bruises forming around her hips. Her eyes drifted shut, and her mind flashed back to images of the monster above her, inside her, and under her as she killed him. She shuddered as the nausea rolled over her in waves and fought the urge to vomit in the sink.

Alex dragged in a shaky breath through her nose and opened her eyes. She could pretend she was okay when Dean was there to comfort her, but actually seeing the physical evidence left behind by the monster broke down every barrier she'd managed to build in her mind, so she showered quickly, eyes closed once more as she scrubbed her skin furiously and dressed with her back to the mirror. 

Not knowing what else to do, Alex deposited her bag inside the door of a random room and went to find Dean. He wasn't in her room, so she turned around and headed back the other way until the hall opened up into a large library with a lit map covered table on one end and a few other long wooden tables at the other. Sam was sitting at one of the far tables, his shoulders hunched over an ancient looking tome, and she called out as she approached. 

"Hey."

Sam glanced up as she walked over, smiling warmly in her direction. "Hey. Did you have a nice shower?"

"The water pressure is pretty great," she said, pushing her hair back. 

"Yeah, yeah it is." They stared at each other awkwardly for a beat before Alex broke the silence. 

"I know you know what happened, Sam. You don't have to hide it."

His face dropped and he looked away while rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry, uh, I asked Dean why you were acting so strange when I showed up, and--"

Alex held up a hand and cut him off. "You don't have to explain yourself. I get it."

"So, are you...feeling okay?" Sam asked cautiously, not wanting to overstep his bounds, but needing to know if she was a threat to them.

"You mean am I fighting the urge to suck your blood? No, I'm fine." She started exploring the shelves around her, and Sam watched as she idly played with her wedding rings.

"Any favorites?" 

"Hmm?" she asked, facing him.

"I noticed you had a variety of books back home, and just wondered what you liked to read for fun. There's a small fiction section in the corner, but I've been trying to expand on it the last couple of years and could use some suggestions." He tilted his head over in the direction he spoke of, and Alex moved that way.

She crouched down and ran her hands over the old spines until one caught her eye. She held it up and sent a questioning look in Sam's direction. "The Wizard of Oz?"

He grinned and marked his place in his book before getting up. "L. Frank Baum was a Man of Letters. We actually worked a case with his daughter a few years ago and sent her back to Oz. What?"

Alex shook her head. "Nothing, it's just the stories you guys must have, they're incredible. You should write your own books."

"Been there, sweetheart," Dean called as he walked in with a tray of food. He pointed at Sam. "You tell her, you die."

Alex looked between the two men. "Tell me what?"

Sam started to speak, but Dean beat him to the punch. "No way," he said firmly. "That shit is staying buried."

"Did you already write a book?" she asked, looking up at the giant beside her.

"Let's just say God enjoys dabbling in a little creative writing of his own," Sam gritted out. Alex raised a brow but let it go. She'd just have to Google it later. 

Dean was putting out a couple of plates where Sam had been sitting and gestured to the food. "I thought you might be hungry. I know it's been a while."

"I could eat," Alex replied and walked over. She took a seat across from Sam and Dean sat beside her, picking up a grilled cheese and chowing down.

Sam's face screwed up. "Dude, gross."

His brother smirked and took an even bigger bite before talking with his mouth full. "I'm sorry, Sammy. Is this not okay?"

"You're nearly forty years old and still eat like you're five. I'd be more worried about scaring Alex off."

Dean gave Sam a bitchface at the mention of his age, the expression quickly morphed into thinly veiled fear at the end of the statement. His eyes shifted to Alex beside him who was blushing and picking at her sandwich. "What, uh, what do you mean?"

Sam stared his brother down with a knowing smirk. "You keep eating like that, and she'll think she's next."

Dean's mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish as he tried to come up with a witty retort. When he realized he had nothing, Dean pursed his lips and grumbled something about the food getting cold before finishing his plate. 

The rest of their makeshift dinner was spent in an awkward silence that made Alex's blush deepen the longer it lasted. As Dean waited for her to finish eating, he slung an arm across the back of her chair and noted that she was barely eating anything at all. She was mostly just tearing the sandwich into pieces and moving them around. Alarm bells rang in the back of his mind, but he attributed it to the terror she'd gone through earlier and promised himself to fix a better breakfast in the morning. 

Currently, his mind was preoccupied with the sleeping arrangements.


	12. Chapter 12

Alex was staring down at her food, but she wasn't really seeing the tattered remains of the grilled cheese. She saw khakis, and concrete, and bars. She smelled old motor oil and the rust of blood as it splattered in her face. She felt the icy metal cuffs on her wrists and the ache and burn between her legs as he pushed into her. Alex heard the vampire's moans and the desperate cries from Dean as he begged her to keep fighting back. 

Dean had been resting with his head back on the chair, but a kick under the table followed by a pointed look from Sam was all that was needed to draw his attention back to Alex. She was sitting beside him with a blank expression, but her skin was a ghostly shade of white. Even her lips were pale. It was a stark contrast to the blush she'd worn earlier, and immediately Dean was on edge. He tightened the arm that was still around her shoulders and leaned into her side.

"Al?" he asked. When she didn't answer, Dean cast a worried glance at his brother before laying his hand lightly on her forearm. He cleared his throat and tried again, giving her a gentle shake as he did. "Alex, you okay?"

She was gripping the arms of the chair now, her knuckles bone white, and Dean spun her around and knelt in front of her while cupping her face. "Al? Hey, hey, hey, you've gotta snap out of it, okay? Al, look at me. Look at me! Al, you're fine. Whatever you're seeing, it's not real. You're safe. You're fine. I'm here." 

Dean was so preoccupied with getting Alex to break out of her trance that he didn't see Sam get up until water was flung into Alex's face. She gasped, the shock of the cold water shocking her back into the present, and her eyes wildly searched the face of the man in front of her. He tried to smile when their eyes met, but the fear on his face showed through in his eyes. "Al? You back with me?"

Alex stood abruptly and wiped the water from her face. "I'm fine," she said, looking away.

"No, Alex, you're not fine," Dean countered. "What was that? What happened to you just now?"

"I just, I saw..." She trailed off and shook her head as the two men looked on. "I need a minute," she told them and jogged from the room, the back of her hand pressed to her mouth.

"Alex, wait!" Dean called and started to go after her, but Sam put a hand on his brother's chest and stopped him.

"Dean, give her some time. She'll be okay."

"Okay?" Dean pushed Sam's arm away. "Did that look like she was okay to you?"

"Dean--"

"No, Sam! I'm going after her." 

Sam watched his brother take off down the hall and eased down onto one of the vacated chairs at the table. He dropped his head into his hands and closed his eyes, exhaling through his nose. He knew what Alex was dealing with was anything but easy. He himself still occasionally struggled with flashbacks from his time in the cage, but to watch the toll it was taking on his brother...It was eerie. He wondered fleetingly if this is how Dean acted when he was hallucinating years ago and couldn't tell fact from fiction. When his brother cared about people, it was with everything he had. Sam wasn't sure how he felt watching Dean care so much for a woman he barely knew. It could either go great, or it could end badly as it had with Eileen and Sam. He just prayed it was the former.  
_____________

"Al?" Dean called as he searched each of the rooms on his hall. She wasn't in his room or the bathroom, but when he came to a room that had her duffel bag stowed just inside the door, he knew it was the right one. The door to the smaller attached bath was closed, a sliver of light shining underneath, and Dean was willing to bet his left kidney it was locked from the inside. He sighed and rapped gently on the wood with his knuckles. 

"I just need a minute, Dean, please," Alex groaned from the other side.

Dean's shoulders dropped as the tension fell away with the knowledge she was still there. "Can I get you anything? he asked. He knew he was being a bit clingy, but he also knew that Alex was better off with someone who understood what she was going through. Stewing in her own juices wasn't going to do her any good, and he feared what would happen if she zoned out again. 

The door swung open, and Alex brushed passed him. "A little privacy for one thing," she muttered on her way to her bag. She slung it up onto the bed and started pulling clothes out and tossing them to the side as she dug around. "Where the hell is it?" she growled. 

Dean watched as Alex closed her eyes and sucked her bottom lip between her teeth while placing her hands on her hips. "What--" he started, but she held up a hand to stop him.

"My car," she whispered, eyes flying open. She turned and strode out of the room, Dean hot on her heels.

"Alex, wait!"

When she reached her car, Alex threw open the door and yanked the keys out before popping the trunk. Dean stared at the frenzy as she rifled through the few belongings she owned and finally came up with a thick book of some kind. No, not a book, he realized as he looked closer. It was a photo album. Alex ran her hand lightly over the cover before clutching it to her chest and walking slowly out of the garage. 

Dean followed a few steps behind her, this time on purpose and with his hands tucked into his pockets, until he reached her room. Once there, he leaned against the door frame and watched silently as she crawled up onto the bed and sat crosslegged in the middle. She placed the album carefully on the bedspread in front of her before folding her shaking hands in her lap.

"If you're not going to leave," she choked out, still not looking at him, "then at least shut the door." He did as she asked but remained silently by the wall, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. 

Alex took a deep, shuddering breath and opened the album to the first page. Whatever she saw there made her clamp a hand over her mouth and try to hide the sob that racked her body. Dean saw the tears spill down her cheeks and drop from the tip of her nose down onto the page, his arms once more aching to reach out and hold her.

"This is so wrong," she gasped, hiding behind her hands.

"What is?" Dean whispered. 

"I just lost my hu-husband, and now I'm, I'm sharing a room with a man and letting monsters rape me and kissing the man I shared a bed with, and I just--" Alex shook her head, eyes squeezed shut to try and stop the flow of tears, but another sob escaped and more tears streamed down her face. "I feel like I've cheated on him," she admitted. 

His heart sank to his feet. This was exactly why he'd tried to stay away. Dean knew it was too soon, but he couldn't help it, and the more he was around her the more he fell for her.

"I know it's not right," Alex continued, "but I can't help the way I feel for you." At this, Dean's head popped up, eyes locking on her face and heart threatening to burst from his chest. "I just don't know what to do with all of this. I'm so confused."

Dean stepped carefully over to the bed and sat behind her, a leg to either side of her hips, and wrapped his arms around her middle, hugging her tightly. "What happened, what those monsters did to you, wasn't your fault. You fought back, and you won," he told her as she relaxed in his hold. He swallowed and took a deep breath before pushing on. "As for me, or whatever this is between us, I'm sorry. I wish I could walk away, but I can't, not unless you tell me you don't want me."

"That's just it," she whispered, voice hoarse from crying. Alex looked at Dean over her shoulder, her temporary grasp on her emotions threatening to crumble. "I don't want you to stay away. That's why I feel so bad. I want something I shouldn't, but I refuse to give it up."

Dean's eyes flicked down to her mouth, and he licked his lips quickly before closing the distance between them. It was sweet, his mouth just barely brushing across hers before she reached up and ran a hand through his hair, pulling him close. She deepened the kiss, mouth opening to him, and Alex swept her tongue gently against his, swallowing the sound of his groan as she did. He wanted to keep going, but that, right now, wasn't what she needed, so he reluctantly pulled back and tucked his face in her neck.

"Al," he breathed, voice low and doing all kinds of things it shouldn't have the capability of doing to a woman.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just keep making it worse."

Dean shook his head before resting his chin on her shoulder. "S'not your fault. I shouldn't have started it." He blew a breath out through his nose and studied the picture in front of him. It was one of her husband, Jack. Dean recognized him from the crime scene photos they'd studied while working her case and was struck by how much he looked like Cas when he smiled. "Tell me about him."

Alex looked back at the picture and leaned a little more on the man behind her. "He was something special," she sighed. "This was actually taken at our wedding reception and was part of a larger picture, but I loved his expression so much I cropped everyone else out. Jack was laughing at something a friend of his said, and I just, I couldn't get over how happy he looked." 

Dean saw it, too. The dark haired man was grinning ear to ear, every one of his teeth showing and his eyes crinkling around the edges. "Do you have more from that day?" he questioned.

Alex nodded and flipped the page. "This one," she said, tapping the picture, "was taken while he made a toast to our guests and thanked them for coming." 

It was one of the newlyweds standing behind a table. Jack had a glass raised and was speaking, but what caught Dean's attention was the woman beside him. Alex was staring up at her husband with a softness that Dean himself had never seen on anyone since Bobby's wife came back from the dead. It was pure love and adoration that shone in her eyes and completely stole all attention away from the rest of the picture. He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a pang of jealousy at seeing her look at someone else that way, but Dean reminded himself that she had lost that love and could never get it back. 

"Show me more," he whispered, and Alex did, going through all the pictures and telling him about each one. She didn't have much to say about most of them besides a brief explanation, but she would smile small and go into detailed descriptions about her favorites, most of those being random snapshots of her old life. She got choked up at the first one of A.J. in the hospital when she was born, but Dean held her tighter and urged her on to tell him about the experience. They stayed that way for a while, until eventually Alex began resting more and more weight on Dean. That was when he kissed her temple and helped her under the covers before brushing a hand down her face and flipping the light out as he left the room and headed to his own for the night.


	13. Chapter 13

Pain.

Fire.

Tearing.

Burning.

Iron.

Soot.

"NO!" Alex sat up screaming, her eyes flying open with shock. That nightmare had been the worst one yet. Her memories of the rape combined with those of the fire creating a neverending whirlpool of terror and pain. She stumbled out of bed to the bathroom as fast as she could and splashed her face with cold water, her chest still heaving with each breath.

"Alex!"

It was Dean's voice, and, as she turned around, he was sliding to a stop, a hand on her door frame and eyes frantically searching the room. When he saw her, his worry turned to confusion. "You look...perfectly fine," he said slowly.

Alex offered a sheepish smile and glanced down at her feet. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I had...it, it was another nightmare. I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, no," Dean denied, washing a hand down his face. "It's fine. You okay?"

Was she? Alex didn't really know. She felt somewhat better after seeing him. Something about his sheer presence was intensely reassuring. "I think so, yeah," she told him, still looking down.

He walked over to her and placed a hand on each of her shoulders. "You sure?" he checked again, ducking his head to see her face better.

She nodded and met his piercing green eyes. "Yeah, I am."

Dean seemed to evaluate her a second, his eyes narrowing as they moved across her face. He pressed his lips together before tucking her under one arm and pulling her towards the hallway. "Okay. How about some coffee? Lord knows I could use some."

"Wait!" she exclaimed and tore from his grasp to jog back into her room. Alex made straight for her bag and pulled out her favorite red mug before meeting Dean back in the hallway. He was standing there with one brow raised in question before Alex raised the mug triumphantly above her head.

"A mug?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "That's what was so important?"

"Dude, I've been drinking coffee from Styrofoam for so long, I've forgotten what it actually tastes like anymore."

He grinned and took her hand. "We have pretty good coffee here," Dean whispered conspicuously in her ear. "Once we moved in, I started buying the good stuff that we never get to enjoy on the road."

"So, what? You're like a coffee snob now?" she teased.

"Maybe," he admitted, looking forward, "but I lived on the road for thirty some odd years before I became one, so I think I'm entitled."

"Snobs always do." She peeked up at him and saw him grinning back at her.

They walked into the kitchen, and Dean went about preparing the coffee while Alex peeked in the fridge for breakfast ingredients. After last night, she felt like she owed him at least that much. 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Alex turned around in shock when Dean yelled across the kitchen at her. "What're you doing?" he asked, taking long strides over to where she stood. 

"Well I thought I was gonna make you breakfast, but I'm guessing not," she explained as he took the ingredients from her arms. 

"You're damn right, you're not." Alex's expression must have shown her shock at his change of tone because he quickly added to his original statement. "You're gonna sit down and drink some coffee while I make you something."

Alex raised a brow and crossed her arms. "Dean, I want to cook for you. Please, I need to keep my hands busy."

Dean pursed his lips and looked at the food spread across the counter. "Together?"

She grinned and hip checked the man out of her way with a laugh. "Scootch. Let me show you how we do it down south. Now," she said looking around, "got a skillet?"

Dean started to grab one from a hook on the wall, but when he looked back, Alex was signalling for a larger one. He put a hand on the biggest one they had and got a thumbs up in reponse. 

Alex put several strips of bacon in the pan to fry while she and Dean cracked the dozen eggs. She threw in a splash of milk along with several spices, winking when Dean questioned her use of cayenne pepper, and whisked it all together while Dean plated the bacon. 

"What are you doing?" Alex questioned as Dean lifted the skillet of the burner.

"Uh, pouring off the grease?"

She smiled and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Leave it. We're gonna need it for the eggs."

Dean's head whipped around to stare at her. "The eggs?"

She nodded. "Watch and learn, buddy."

"I'm not your buddy," he snorted, backing away. 

"To-may-to, to-mah-to," she said pouring the eggs mixture on top of the hot grease. "Oh this is going to be sooo good."

"To-mah-to," Dean grumbled under his breath. 

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. So, uh, what's the grease gonna do?" The eggs were sizzling and popping in the hot skillet, and he noticed Alex's forearm getting pink as she stirred the eggs.

"It's going to mix with the eggs and give them a good, rich flavor. You'll like it," she told him over her shoulder. "Promise."

She continued to stir the eggs to keep them from sticking too much, so she didn't see it when Dean stepped right up behind her. Suddenly she felt his hands on her waist and his breath on her neck as he spoke. "I'd like it anyways," he said lowly. 

Alex froze when he touched her hips and had to remind herself it was only Dean. He registered the increase in her breathing and immediately stepped back.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he said quickly, hand rubbing his neck. When she still didn't move, he stepped to her side and saw her eyes closed tightly. "Al?"

She shook her head and threw him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Sorry, you're fine. I just wasn't expecting it is all." 

She tugged his arm until he was wrapped around her again, much in the same way he'd been the night before on the bed. Dean kissed her cheek before resting his chin on her shoulder while she cooked.

"We're gonna have to do some fight training later," he mumbled as Alex divided the eggs between three plates.

"Fight training?"

"Mmm. You have a few things to work on."

She gave him a side eye and chewed on his comment for a beat. "Who's going to be doing the teaching?"

He crossed his arms again, something that seemed to be a habit whenever he was considering something Alex noticed, and leaned against the counter. "Sam and I are pretty evenly matched, but if you want, I could ask Cas to show you a few moves. He used to train the other dicks in his garrison, and you should probably get in some practice with an angel blade."

Alex failed to hold back the laugh that bubbled up at Dean's description. "Dicks?"

"Look," he told her sternly, holding up a hand. "Cas is the only angel you can trust, the only one. You never know about those other guys."

"Only trust Cas, got it." She stared down at the food in front of her, noticing something she'd missed. "It needs some color," Alex said to herself as Sam walked in, hair still wet from his shower.

"Hey," he said, walking to the fridge.

"Good morning, Sam," Alex offered. "Hey, you don't happen to have any fruit around here, do you?"

"Actually I bought some cantaloupe a few days ago." He rummaged around before pulling out a bottle of water and a square container, handing the latter to Alex.

"Awesome! Thanks." She began spooning it out onto the plates, but Dean snatched one away before Alex had the chance to put any fruit on it.

"You two can have your fruit, but I prefer my breakfast fried, so." Dean punctuated his sentence with a bite of bacon and sat at the table. Alex poured them some coffee and sat beside Dean, their legs touching from knee to hip and practically burning a hole in her yoga pants. 

They are quietly for a few minutes before the most sinful moan Alex had ever heard came from the man next to her, making her choke on her coffee. "You alright, man?" Sam smirked.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch," Dean whispered, his eyes closed. 

"Dean?" Alex asked as she watched his face. He was either dying or having an orgasm. She wasn't sure which.

Suddenly, his mouth was on hers, tongue quickly sweeping into her mouth and leaving her breathless as he cupped her face. Then, just as quickly as it started, Dean pulled away, lids lowered and pupils blown wide. 

"Dude!" Sam snapped. 

"I will NEVER eat eggs any other way," Dean said seriously. 

Alex couldn't help what happened next. One second she was breathless from a kiss, and the next she was laughing so hard tears were forming in her eyes. "I, I can't, hahaha! Whatever you want, Dean," she laughed. She finally managed to control herself and rubbed his back. "Eat so we can go train." He shot her a grin, and she returned it wholeheartedly before taking a piece of cantaloupe in her mouth. 

"You actually make fruit look pretty good," he commented.

"And I'm done," Sam announced, slapping his hands on the table. "You're too gross for me. I'll be in the library."

Sam dumped his plate in the sink and fled the room while Dean slung an arm over Alex's shoulders. "Poor kid," he said, watching Sam's exit.

"Kid?" Alex challenged, looking at Dean. "That's about the farthest thing from a kid that I've ever seen."

"Nah. He may look big and bad," Dean told her, popping another piece of bacon in his mouth, "but throw him into a conversation about me and sex, and Sammy reverts back to his twelve year old self."

"You lost it at sixteen? Why am I not surprised?" she teased, a playful smirk on her lips.

"Don't let my charming smile fool you, I'm actually a well known womanizer."

"What? You?" Alex placed a hand on her chest in faux shock, earning her a nudge from Dean.

"Hush. You ready?" he asked,gathering their plates.

"As I'll ever be."

Dean smiled warmly and held out a hand to her. Alex took it and allowed him to pull her through the maze of halls to the gym, a small smile on her face the whole way.


	14. Chapter 14

"Oof!"

Embarrassed didn't even begin to touch how Alex was feeling. That was the third time Dean had put her on her back, and while she laid there panting on the mat, Dean was standing over her with an outstretched hand and hadn't broken a sweat.

"Screw you," she huffed, batting his hand away. 

He tucked his hands into his pockets and the grin he wore widened. "You've gotta get up, Al. Those evil sons of bitches aren't going to give you time to catch your breath."

"If you were an evil son of a bitch, Dean, I'd already be dead," Alex pointed out. 

Uh-oh. Dean lost the grin after her last comment, and a frightening mask took its place. "Dean?" she squeaked as he loomed over her.

"Get up," he growled, hauling Alex to her feet by the collar of her shirt. She obeyed, mainly because she didn't think she had much of a choice in the matter, and backed away slowly as Dean advanced on her. "You think you can just give up?" he demanded as her back hit the wall. "You think you're allowed to quit?" His neck had turned and angry shade of red, and Alex felt his chest as it heaved against her own. 

"Um, no?" She didn't mean for it to come out as a question, but damn if the man wasn't intimidating when he wanted to be. It was a stark contrast to the laid back goofball she'd eaten breakfast with. No wonder monsters were scared of the guy.

Dean closed in, his face a hair's breadth from her own, and searched her face. "Good," he said quietly. "I can't afford to lose you, Wade. I won't." He pushed off of the wall and backed up a good ten feet before taking a fighting stance. "We'll go slower this time, and I'm going to point out your flaws and how to correct them."

Alex relaxed a bit and stepped carefully over to where he stood, but stopped a few feet away. She eyed him closely, looking for any sign that he was about to strike. 

Dean sighed and put his hands on his hips. "I'm not going to hurt you, Al, but this is serious. Your life depends on what you learn here, and I don't take that lightly. Remember, go slow. Now come on."

Alex spread her feet and raised her hands before circling the man. He didn't turn, just moved his head to watch her as she moved, and when Alex thought she had a good shot, she threw a light punch that was meant to land on Dean's kidney, but he caught her wrist easily and pulled it towards him, stepping out of the way as he did.

"When you approach from behind, try and hit their temple or crack something across their neck to knock them out."

"And if I can't?" she asked, hands raised once more.

Dean patted his outer thigh. "Go for the legs. Take 'em down to your size."

Alex shifted her weight and landed a soft kick the the side of his knee. "Like that?"

"Harder, but yeah," he nodded. "Then, I want you to go straight for the face. Show me your right hook." She did and followed it with a swift left, hitting his palm with a loud smack and earning herself a grin from her teacher. "Good. Now go full speed." 

Alex attacked and even dodged a few of Dean's moves before rolling forward onto the balls of her feet and rushing him. She heard him huff as he landed on his back and quickly scrambled to straddle his chest. He caught her left jab, but in doing so, he left his face unguarded for when her right fist glanced off his jaw.

"Like that?" she grinned, clearly gloating over her upper hand. 

"Yeah," Dean smirked before pulling her to his chest and rolling on top of her. Alex pressed her lips into a thin line and glared, the move having caught her off guard. "Now, you're a chick, so you can perform this move better than I can because you're more flexible. Plant your left foot on the floor and use your right to push against my chest." She did what he said and rolled up into a crouch as he fell back.

They sparred for a while longer, him correcting her moves or suggesting ways to break the holds he had her in, until they noticed Sam leaning against the door watching. He clapped when the distraction allowed Alex to flip and pin Dean underneath her, his arm bent back at a less than comfortable angle.

"That's impressive," Sam complimented as he crossed his arms once more.

"Thanks," Alex grinned, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Sam tossed her a water bottle and threw one in his brother's direction. "So, if you guys are done playing, I think I caught us another case."

"Playing?" Dean scoffed, still on his back. "More like I was playing, and she was struggling to keep up."

"Right," Sam told him, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, whenever you can walk again, meet me in the library."

Dean held up an "ok" sign with his fingers and let his head fall back against the mat as Sam walked away. 

"Need a hand?" Alex asked.

He smiled warmly and grasped her outstretched hand, pulling himself up, before scooping up the water bottle on the floor and taking a long pull. 

"I should probably start running, you know, brush up on my cardio," she mentioned as they headed out.

Dean shrugged. "I never do, but Sam runs every morning. He probably wouldn't mind a partner."

"That's not a bad idea actually." Alex fiddled with the label on her bottle before chancing a glance up at Dean. "You know, you were pretty scary in there. I can see why you're so good at what you do."

He stopped and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't freak you out, did I?"

"No! I just, well, it worked. You say more with your body than you do with your mouth. It's very telling." Dean sent her a skeptical look, and it was her turn to shrug. "What? You're easy to read."

"Huh." Dean turned and walked a bit faster towards the library, leaving Alex standing in the hall. "Dude!" he called to Sam when he entered the library. 

Sam's eyes flew up to Dean's in shock at the sudden disruption. "You okay, man?"

Dean strode over to the table and stood in front of his brother. "Am I easy to read?" he asked, gesturing to his chest.

"Usually, yeah," Sam admitted, glancing over at Alex as she walked in the room. "I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask though. I mean we've spent practically our entire lives in close proximity to each other, so I know you better than anyone other than maybe Cas."

"Son of a..." Dean muttered, looking away. 

"Are you alright?" Sam asked, the look on his older brother's face starting to concern him. He turned to Alex. "What's this all about?"

She shrugged and took a seat at the table. "I just told him he says more with his body language than with words. I don't know why he's freaking out over it."

"Sam!" Dean cried, voice cracking. "We lie for a living! Have I always sucked this much? Has anyone ever believed a single thing I've said to them?"

"Dude, calm down." Now Sam was full on grinning at how worked up Dean was. "If no one believed us, we wouldn't be able to work half the cases we do."

At this, Dean stopped pacing and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah?"

"Yes," Sam laughed. "Now sit down and listen. I've got a line on a potential case out in Nevada."

"Nevada? Where at?" Dean asked as he took a seat beside Alex. 

"Uh," Sam scrolled on his laptop before finding the headline, "the Coyote Springs Golf Club just north of Vegas. One of the cleaning ladies was found dead in the bathroom with her head bashed in."

"So?" Alex asked. "Could just be a murder."

"That's what I thought too, but the door was locked from the inside."

"Could be our kinda thing," Dean agreed. He looked over at Alex. "What do you say? Roadtrip?"

"Sure. I'll just grab my bag and change real quick." She started to rise from the table, but Dean stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"You didn't happen to bring a suit, did you?"

"Not that I'm aware." Alex looked between the two as they groaned. "Do I need one?"

"FBI getup, remember?" Dean asked. "Looks like we're going shopping first, Sammy."

"How about, you two go shopping while I stock the cooler?"

Dean held up a fist, and he and Sam played rock, paper, scissors for it. "Dangit!"

Sam smirked. "Any snack preferences, Alex?"

"Ooh Pringles and something sweet if you can find it. Do y'all always decide stuff like that?"

"Only on days that end in 'y,' sweetheart," Dean told her before kissing her temple. "Let's go."


	15. Chapter 15

"Al! Hurry up! We've gotta get on the road."

"I'm almost done!" Alex called from inside the dressing room. 

Dean was sitting in a chair just outside her door with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Sure he had agreed to come along while she searched for an appropriate FBI disguise, but she'd been in there for what felt like forever, and he was getting anxious. 

"Hey," Sam said, walking up. He tilted his head towards the dressing room. "She still in there?"

"Yeah. Man, she went in there like ten minutes ago with a few outfits, and I haven't seen her since." Dean shook his head and flipped through an old magazine that had been sitting on the small table beside him.

"Dude," Sam said suddenly, slapping his brother's shoulder. Dean looked up, and his world stopped. 

Alex was standing in the open doorway, several outfits hanging on the wall behind her, wearing a white button up dress shirt under a fitted black blazer. A tight black skirt hugged her hips and thighs and just barely grazed the top of her knees, and shiny black heels gave her just enough lift to accent her calves. 

"Holy shit," Dean whispered hoarsely, his throat having gone dry. 

"Is this okay?" Alex asked, nervously shaking out her dark waves. 

"You look great, Alex." Sam smiled kindly and rested a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Right, Dean?"

Dean nodded quickly, all speech having left his body. Alex glanced down at her hands as a lovely pink blush crept up from her cleavage to her cheeks, but Dean caught the small curve of her lips before a curtain of hair covered her face.

"So," Sam announced, looking to break the thick silence, "the cooler is packed, bags are in the trunk, and now that you've got an outfit, we should be ready. Right?"

"Just let me change and pay for these," Alex told them, "and I'll meet you back at the car. I'm sure Dean is itching to stretch his legs."

"I don't mind hanging out here for a few more minutes, Al," Dean offered.

She smiled sweetly before shaking her head. "That's okay. You guys go. I'll catch up." Then, Alex turned and disappeared back into the dressing room.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam asked.

He reluctantly pulled his eyes away from the door and looked to his younger brother. "What?"

"You've gotta little drool there," Sam teased, pointing at the corner of his mouth and earning himself a not so gentle shove. "Ow," he laughed. 

"Get to the car," Dean ordered. He gave the dressing room one last glance before following Sam to the entrance. 

Once they reached the parking lot, Sam stuck his hands in his pockets and looked to his brother, a stupid grin on his face. "You're so screwed," he said.

Dean sighed but otherwise stayed silent until they reached his baby. As Sam shut his door and got settled, Dean played with the keys in his hands. "She's not like other girls, Sammy," he admitted. Dean laid back against the seat and searched the roof above him as if the words he was looking for would be written there. "Alex, she's...she's got this way about her that, I don't know, man. She just gets me somehow. Like, I look at her, and I know she's lost a lot of people, too. She just had that look in her eyes."

"Dean, she just lost her entire family," Sam told him gently. "Of course she has that look."

Dean shook his head and stared down his brother. "That's not what I mean. Did you know she was a foster kid?" Sam shook his head. "Alex never knew her real dad, and apparently her mom took off when she was little. She got adopted or whatever, but even they kicked her out after her freshman year of college. She's alone, dude, and it's crazy because, I get it, you know? Dad left us, Mom left us, hell, even you've left me a few times." He ran a hand down his face and gazed out the windshield at the rows of cars before him. "We just, we connect on a deeper level, and yeah, she's beautiful, but she's also got this huge heart, too. She has good taste in music and a kickass ride, and for whatever reason, she actually wamts to be around me. I want to take care of her and make her smile, make her laugh. She deserves that. She deserves to know that someone cares about her and wants her to be happy."

Dean could feel his brother's eyes analyzing him, but after spilling his guts like that he couldn't bring himself to look over at the passenger seat. Luckily, Alex saved him by getting in the backseat. She'd changed back into a pair of jeans and a loose fitting, black t-shirt, but it suited her just as well as the skirt and blazer.

"You guys ready?" she asked, pulling her hair up into a high ponytail. 

"Yeah," Dean said and started the car. They pulled out onto the highway and headed for Nevada.   
_____________

No.

No, no, no. Not again. 

Alex was scrambling for purchase on the slick concrete below her as the hotel manager pulled her body from the cage. She was trying to find something she could use to get away from him when a warm hand grasped her own. She looked up expecting Dean to be holding on but was shocked to see Billie's face instead. 

"I'm still watching you," Billie said lowly, dark eyes locked on Alex's face.

"Help me! Please!" Alex begged. She knew what awaited her outside the cage, and she didn't want to relive that particular horror.

"You have to help yourself, Alex. No one else will save you." Billie then released her hold and stared as Alex was dragged out the small door.

"Why?" Alex screamed as she fought the monster above her. Suddenly, she was naked, her body glued to the floor, and she glared at Death as the vampire pushed his way into her body. "What did I ever do to you?" she sneered, her body stretching and rocking violently with each thrust. 

"Help yourself," Billie repeated.

Alex squeezed her eyes shut and prayed.

Alex's eyes popped open as the car slowed. It was still dark outside, but the light from a gas station sign shone across the leather seat, and she sat up.

"Hey," Dean said from the front as he pulled up to the pumps. "I didn't mean to wake you. This road's about the worst one I've driven. Too many bumps."

"No, it's fine," Alex whispered back. "I'm glad you did."

Dean's eyes flicked up to meet hers in the rearview mirror before he nodded and got out. "Want anything?" he asked, sticking his head back in. She shook her head, and he patted the roof as he backed out and walked inside.

Alex watched him walk away, admiring the way he sauntered up to the door. Sam was asleep in the front seat, his forehead leaning against the window, so she was left alone to her thoughts in the deafening silence. 

Her mind whirled as she tried to retain the details of her newest nightmare. It was the first time she'd dreamed of Billie and the first time she'd been able to wake herself up. Could the two be related? Billie had said to "help herself," and she did. What she didn't know was why Billie was still watching her. What made her so important, and why had she been more powerful in this nightmare? Alex screwed her eyes shut and massaged her temples to ward off the headache she felt coming on. Suddenly, her door opened, and Alex gasped as her eyes flew open, a hand immediately going to the knife in her boot.

"It's just me," Dean said calmly. He was crouched down beside the open door, a water in one hand and a small pill bottle in the other. "Here." He handed Alex the water and twisted the cap off of the pill bottle before shaking a couple of white tablets into his palm and offering those as well.

"What are they?" she asked, eyeing the tablets warily. 

"Just extra strength Tylenol," he assured her. "I keep some on hand for minor aches and pains, but you looked like you could use them."

"Thanks," Alex mumbled as she took them. She swallowed them while Dean went around the back of the car to fill the tank. She climbed out and joined him on the rear bumper as the numbers on the pump ticked upwards. 

Dean watched the pump and chewed on the inside of his cheek. "You didn't make any sounds while you slept. If I had known, I would've woken you sooner."

"Wasn't your fault, Dean," Alex assured him while wrapping her arms around her middle. He hummed quietly but made no other reply. 

When the pump finally stopped, Dean replaced the nozzle and walked around to the passenger's side of the car and opened Sam's door. "Hop in the back," he said as the lanky man practically fell out. "You'll be able to stretch out back there."

Sam crawled into the backseat, collapsing with his head right behind Dean's seat, and Dean shut the door after tucking his little brother's feet in. "You comin'?" he asked as he walked around the hood. 

Alex hurried to slide into the seat Sam had been warming the whole way and chanced a glance at the man beside her. There was something hard in his expression, and the shadows cast across his face seemed sharper somehow, like the environment had adapted to his ever changing mood. 

Alex scooted closer to him and laid a hand on Dean's knee, and his eyes glanced down at it briefly as his tongue flicked out before he bit his lower lip. He looked up at her face, suddenly vulnerable eyes scanning it for something in the dim light, but before Alex could move in closer, Dean was starting the car and pulling back onto the road. 

"I used to have nightmares all the time," he told her after a few miles. "They started after Dad died, but uh," Dean swallowed as he collected his thoughts, "they got worse after Hell, and then again when I had the mark. They were so vivid, you know? Like it was all really happening right in front of me, and I couldn't stop it. I was helpless, and I, I hated feeling that way. They aren't so bad now. I barely wake up covered in sweat, but every now and then one'll sneak up on me, and I'm right back to where I was."

"Billie was in this one, that's why it was so different from the rest." Alex was staring out the windshield at the dark road before them, but she felt Dean's eyes on her face. "I asked her to help me, and you know what she said? She said I had to help myself." She huffed a laugh and shook her head. "That sick bitch watched some monster get his freak on and didn't lift a hand to help me, so, I prayed, and then I woke up."

Dean snorted. "You prayed?"

"Good things do happen, Dean," Alex muttered. 

His head whipped around to stare at her in shock. "What'd you just say?"

Alex sighed, her shoulders sagging. "I said, good things do happen. What?"

He shook his head and looked back to the road. "Nothing, just, do me a favor and don't say that again, huh?"

"I don't understand," she said slowly, her brows furrowed. 

Dean held up a hand. "Just...don't, okay?"

"But Dean, I don't--"

"Alex!" he barked. She flinched back, and his face dropped. "I'm sorry," he said in a softer tone. "Please, just let it go."

"Fine." She didn't understand how she'd offended him so easily, it was just a few words after all, but she'd drop it for now if that's what he needed. 

Dean reached down and punched the button on the radio, and pretty soon Metallica played softly in the background. It was still a few hours til they hit Coyote Springs, and the music helped to ease the tension between them.


	16. Chapter 16

"So get this," Sam started, looking at the screen on his laptop. Dean rolled his eyes at the often used phrase and shot Alex a grin. "Turns out, there has been exactly one death at the Coyote Springs Golf Club."

"Who?" Dean asked, pulling a beer from the mini fridge. They'd gotten into town that morning and booked a motel room to do a little more research before heading to the coroner's office.

"A guy named Pete Bordeaux. Apparently two years ago he got into a heated argument with the manager, William Langley, and got his brains smashed in with a nine iron."

"Okay, ow," Alex said from her spot on the bed as she set aside John's journal. "Is the manager in jail?"

"He was...but it says here he died of cancer a few weeks ago." Sam leaned back in his chair and ran a hand over his hair. 

"And this is the first time a ghost has shown up?" Dean checked. His brother nodded. "Well, shit, Sam. It could be Pete or Langley."

"My money's on the manager," Alex explained. "If he just died, and the ghost stuff is just now happening, then it's gotta be him, right?"

"Not necessarily," Sam told her. 

Dean started gathering his FBI clothes. "It could be the manager," he told Alex, "but it could also be Pete. Langley's death could have caused him to get restless. Maybe he's always been there, but now he's out to hurt people."

"He's lashing out," Alex mumbled. 

Dean shrugged and pointed to Alex's bag. "You might want to get dressed. You can come with me to check out the body while Sam interviews witnesses." She nodded and took her bag into the bathroom, closing the door behind her, and Dean started stripping while Sam gathered his own things to get ready.

"So how's tonight going to work?" Sam asked, pulling off his shirt.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the sleeping arrangements, there are three of us and only two beds, and I'm not sharing."

Dean paused, his unbuttoned slacks hanging loosely from his hips, and glanced at the beds. He and Alex could share, but would she want to? They'd only shared that one night in Oklahoma, and that was before the vamps happened. "I'll ask her what she wants to do," he decided. "If we have to get another room, then we will."

"Good."

"Done." Dean threaded a belt through the loops and proceeded to buckle it when a thought occurred to him. "She doesn't sleep well alone," he admitted quietly. 

Sam met his brother's worried gaze as he buttoned his dress shirt. "I could always take the other room, Dean. It's not a big deal."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Tell you what, I'll go ahead and get one anyway, take the pressure off of her."

Dean nodded. "That's probably a good idea. She's got this thing about money. She doesn't want me spending any more than I have to on her, and even then it's a battle. She's so stubborn," he grinned.

Sam grabbed his wallet and gun from the table before slipping them into his pants. "I'll stop by the office in my way out. Call me if you find anything."

"Will do," Dean replied as his brother walked out. He stood in the middle of the room absently for a few seconds before grabbing his beer and taking a long pull. He glanced over at his dad's battered old journal on the bed and picked it up. Alex was supposed to be reading about different ghost hunts, but the page marked near the beginning was from shortly after Mary had died. Dean recognized the entry immediately. John had been drunk when he'd written it, and his emotions were running high as he rambled about the pain of losing his wife. It was dark, too dark, and Dean closed his eyes as he placed the journal back where Alex had originally laid it.

Just then, the door to the bathroom opened, and Alex walked out, her bag slung over her shoulder, and once again, Dean was overcome by her appearance. "Jesus," he let out under his breath. 

"I didn't take you for a believer," Alex told him playfully. 

"I'm starting to." He kicked his lips and breathed deeply through his nose. "Do you have any idea how awesome you look right now?"

She raised her brows in disbelief. "You're kidding, right? Dude, I have a mom-bod. This," she said, gesturing to her body, "is not hot. Hasn't been for a few years now."

Dean shook his head as he stepped right up to her, his eyes raking over every inch of Alex's body. He laid his hands lightly on her hips and stared down into her dark eyes. "Al," he said quietly, "you are really beautiful. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently."

She glanced away, that same blush tinting her skin, and whispered, "I'm really not that great, and that's okay. I'm comfortable in my own skin."

He sighed and raked a hand through Alex's hair, pushing it back behind her ear. "Learn to take a compliment, would you? You're gorgeous, and any man would be lucky to have you."

"Dean..." She trailed off, obviously self conscious.

He turned her face back to his and saw the fear in her wide eyes and the way her pulse throbbed rapidly on her neck. What happened to make her think she was anything but perfect? Why wouldn't she be proud of how she looked? Dean couldn't figure it out, but he was determined to change her mind. Alex owned every room she walked into, and he'd be damned if she didn't start acting like it.

Dean leaned in and placed a light kiss to her forehead, her cheekbones, her jawline, then slowly, carefully, he placed his lips at her ear and whispered, his voice low and gravelly, "You don't need me to tell you you're beautiful. You don't need any man's approval, but Al, I'll keep saying it until you believe me." Her breath hitched as he spoke, and he pulled back just enough to land a quick kiss on her lips before taking a step away, his hand leaving a trail of fire as it slid down her arm to her hand. 

He shot her his trademark grin and tugged gently on her hand. "C'mon, we've got work to do, but I swear we'll finish this later."

"Dead bodies," Alex nodded before swallowing. "Right." She followed him out the door, but her heart was begging her to stay in the room and find out where that conversation had been going.  
_____________

Sam stepped out of his temporary ride and tugged at his collar. It was just after 10:00a.m., but the Nevada sun was already beating down and making him sweat in his dark suit. He wondered why he'd taken on a case in the desert at all. They usually stuck to the northern parts of the country and rarely ventured this far south, but then, he and Dean were doing a lot of things lately that they didn't normally. 

He walked up the sidewalk to the front doors and, though a "CLOSED" sign hung in the window, tried the knob. Luckily it was unlocked, and there were a few cars parked out front, so he ventured inside. Dear lord, it was like walking into a refrigerator after being outside. Sam took a quick look around the lobby as he made his way to the front desk. This place was nice, definitely upscale judging from the polished marble floors and oil paintings hanging on the walls. 

A blonde woman--seriously, what is it with him and blondes--in a beige colored suit came out of a door right as Sam reached the counter and gave him a polite smile. "Hello," she greeted him. "I'm afraid we're closed right now, but if you'll leave a business card, I'd be glad to give you a call when we return to our regular business hours."

"Actually," Sam told her, pulling out his badge, "I'm here on business."

"Oh." The woman's smile faded as she took a closer look at his identification. "You're here about Ruth."

"Yes ma'am. What can you tell me about the day she died?" he asked, glancing down at her nametag. Amanda Langley. Yeah, that's not a coincidence at all.

"Well, it was a totally normal day. People golfed or hung out in our pub, and everything was running smootly." She began straightening the already neat items on the desk as she spoke, her eyes never once meeting Sam's face.

"Until?" he prompted. 

The woman sighed and looked around the room before leaning over the desk. "There were...complaints of scratching noises in the men's room. I asked Ruth to check it out, you know, give it a good cleaning and look for mice."

"You sent her into the bathroom?" Sam confirmed, his brows lifting.

"Well, yeah," she shrugged. "That was her job, and if we had rodents running around, it was her fault. A few minutes later Ruth started screaming, but no one could get in the door to help her. We had to wait for a locksmith to come open it up."

"Is anyone else here who might have seen or heard something unusual that day?" As Sam finished speaking, a loud crash sounded throughout the building. He was instantly on edge, hazel eyes scanning for the source of the sound, but Amanda just rolled her eyes and marched towards the dining area. Sam followed her and checked to make sure his gun was still in place as he moved.

"Kayla!" Amanda, Sam was guessing she ran the place, yelled as the neared a door. "I swear, if you've screwed something up again, I'm docking your check!" 

She blew in through the swinging door and screamed. Sam drew his gun and pushed passed her into the kitchen. "Shit," he muttered as he took in the sight before him. 

A woman, Kayla probably, was slumped against the professional grade stainless steel oven, her blood and brains splattered across the surrounding surfaces. There was little left of her face, but a quick search yielded no murder weapon. 

Sam tucked his gun back into place and cautiously approached the woman in the suit. She was pressed against the wall, her head turned away and a hand on her chest. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Amanda shook her head quickly and covered her face with her hands. "Why is this happening to me?" she wailed as tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. 

Sam was taken aback by her choice of words. "I'm sorry, happening to you?"

"When dad died, he left everything to me. I mean, yeah I've been running the place since he went to jail, but I didn't actually own anything until a few weeks ago. Now no one is going to come back!"

Of course, he thought. It all made sense now. He pointed at Amanda as he walked out the door. "Call the cops!" he told her while pulling out his own phone. He dialed as soon as his feet hit the pavement outside.

"Hello?"

"Dean!" Sam said as he practically ran to the car. "I think I figured it out."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! What a ride this story has been! I didn't know exactly where it was taking me, but I have a destination in mind for the series as a whole.
> 
> So, let me know what you think, and I'll get to work on the third story as soon as I can.
> 
> Once again, please let me know if you have any questions/comments/concerns over the grammar and/or continuity of this story. I'm always open to suggestions. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Sam had just finished zipping up his weapons duffel when Dean and Alex walked in the motel room.

"Okay, we're here," Dean started. "What'd you find at the golf course?"

Sam straightened, his eyes bright with excitement at figuring it all out so soon, and grasped the handles of his bag. "When I got there, only the manager and another employee were in the building, and the manager's name? Amanda Langley. William was her dad and left the business to her when he died!"

"Sam," Alex said as she walked over to him, "we're obviously not on the same page here, so why don't you sit down and explain everything to us?" She placed a firm but gentle hand on his arm and guided him to a chair at the small table in the room. 

Sam huffed impatiently but did as she asked before leaning forward onto his elbows to explain. "So when I asked about the woman who died, Amanda started shifting papers around on the desk, and one of those happened to be a newspaper clipping detailing William Langley's death and what the family planned to do with his ashes."

"They didn't," Dean complained as Alex's face dropped. 

"They scattered them on the golf course, didn't they?" she asked, pushing her hair back and putting her other hand on her hip.

Sam nodded quickly and continued. "Anyway, so I was going to ask about it, but then the other employee, Kayla, got killed in the kitchen and Amanda freaked out about how this would ruin her reputation and they'd go out of business."

"So?" Dean asked, clearly not understanding where his brother was going with his story. 

"So when it had been William in jail, it was fine, Pete had just kinda been hanging out but not getting violent!" Sam told him.

"But when they desecrated his haunting grounds with Langley's ashes, Pete got pissed and started going after Amanda's reputation as well," Alex finished for him. Sam shot her a bright grin, happy that someone finally made the connection he had. "It's only a matter of time before he kills the woman."

"Where's Pete buried?" Dean asked.

Sam did a quick search on his laptop before finding it. "Parker's Cemetery." 

Alex grabbed her clothes and hurried into the bathroom to change. When she got out, Sam was gone, and Dean was leaning against the table. "Sam's already at the car. You ready?"

She grinned and nodded. "I was born ready."  
_____________

"Born ready, my ass," Alex grumbled as she threw yet another shovel of dirt over her shoulder. It just barely landed on top of the growing pile beside the grave, and some of it slid back down into the hole around her feet.

"Problems?" Dean smirked as he wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead, leaving a smidge of dirt on his face.

"This blows," she told him. "How much further?"

"Maybe another foot," Dean shrugged. "Welcome to the most boring part of hunting there is."

"Want me to take over?" Sam called over the edge. He'd swapped with Dean about a half hour ago and had taken over the job of lookout. 

"Think you can handle it?" Dean asked her. Alex nodded, eager to get out of digging. "Our lives depend on you up there, and it's gonna get hairy the closer we get to the body. Once he figures out what we're after, you'd better be careful."

"I'll watch over you, Dean," she said seriously, looking him in the eye. 

A strange look crossed his features. "Yeah, whatever. Just get up there so we can get this done." 

Dean leaned the shovel against the side of the hole and laced his hands together to give Alex a boost. She put one foot in his hold and placed a hand on his shoulder as Sam reached down. "Be careful, Al," Dean told her before she pushed up and grasped Sam's outstretched hand. He hauled her up and handed her a sawed off and a box of shells.

"You've gotta this," Sam said before disappearing down into the grave. Alex checked the gun to make sure it was loaded and took in her surroundings. 

They'd found the cemetery easily but had to wait for the cover of night to get started. Now, as she looked around the flat plain, Alex wondered how much time they had before Pete Bordeaux showed up to crash the party. It was almost completely dark save for the lights in the distance and the two flashlights perched at the edge of the hole, and a gentle breeze blew through the air as Sam and Dean's shovels repeatedly scraped the earth. 

"Finally," she heard Dean groan before the sound of a shovel being slammed into a coffin pierced the silence.

The wind picked up, whipping Alex's ponytail around and biting into her skin. She brought the gun up and scanned the area around them searching for a sign of Bordeaux. Suddenly the wind stopped all together, and Alex's hair on the back of her neck raised as she shivered. She locked her lips and stepped back towards the boys when she got the feeling of being watched.

"Guys," she called down in a shaky tone.

"We're almost there, Al! Hold him off!" Dean shouted, doubling his efforts to get the casket open.

Alex's breath turned to fog in the night air, and her skin prickled with anticipation. She knew what was coming. Dean had prepared her for it. She spun and fired a shot at the figure standing behind her, its form dissipating with a wail. 

"Alex?" Sam called. 

"I'm good, just hurry up!" she said as Bordeaux, bloody and face contorted with a snarl, appeared just inches in front of her. Alex gasped, but was slung across the ground before she could fire a shot. She landed hard against a headstone, still clinging to the sawed off as she fell, and groaned, her right shoulder aching. 

"You don't understand!" the ghost screamed as he pushed her into the granite behind her. Alex's head was pounding. It felt like someone was hammering away at her skull, and she cried out as she raised the gun again and fired. 

Alex rolled over in time to see Sam and Dean scrambling out of the hole before flying across the cemetery. Sam hot the ground and rolled into a crouch, but Dean banged his head on a headstone and fell limp as Pete stood over him. 

"No!" Alex shouted, rushing the ghost and firing again. She slid to a stop beside Dean and took his face in her hands. "No, no, no, no. Dean? Dean! Oh god, please wake up." His head lolled forward and blood dripped from his lips as she shook his shoulders in an attempt to rouse him, and the rock in her gut grew heavier. "Dean?" she asked again, tears starting to blur her vision. The pain started in her skull again, and she turned around to see Pete Bordeaux standing over them. Alex curled around Dean in a futile attempt to shield his body with her own and blinked back the tears as she raised her gun. "You son of a bitch!" she growled, pulling the trigger, but it only clicked, and Alex's eyes shot to the box of ammo scattered across the ground where she'd first stood. 

Sam hurried to the duffel bag by the hole trying to ignore his brother's too still body a few feet away. He poured lighter fluid all over the grave as Alex confronted the spirit in front of her, and he dropped his Zippo, the hole bursting into flames with an explosion of heat. 

Sam lowered his arm from his face as the flames died down and looked around. Alex was kneeling over Dean, his head cradled in her lap, and Sam hurried over. "Is he okay?" he panted urgently, dropping to his knees on Dean's other side.

"I don't know," Alex choked. "He's got a pulse, but he won't wake up. Oh god, Sam--"

"Shh, back up, okay? Let me look at him." Sam shined a flashlight in his brother's eyes and breathed a sigh of relief as his pupils constricted in response. "He'll be alright. Let's get him to the car and clean up this mess before anyone shows up." He shifted to grab his brother under his arms and looked at Alex, who sat there motionless. "Hey! We've only got a little bit of time before it gets daylight, so we've gotta get to work. Now c'mon!" he ordered.

Alex wiped a hand down her face and nodded before taking Dean's left side and helping Sam shuffle to the car. 

"Get the door," Sam gritted out as they neared the Impala. He took on the rest of Dean's weight and dragged him forward while Alex pulled open the door. They laid his brother across the seat and pushed him in before hurrying back to cover up the grave.

"Sam?" Alex started as they pushed dirt back into the hole.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

He stopped and leaned onto his shovel. "For what?"

Alex gripped the wooden handle and squeezed her eyes shut before raising her head and looking him in the eye. "You guys depended on me to keep you safe, and I failed, that's on me."

Sam huffed a laugh and shook his head as he pushed more dirt into the hole. "What happened to Dean wasn't your fault, Alex. You did the best you could, and believe me, worse things have happened under the watch of more experienced hunters." When she didn't say anything, Sam stopped and looked at her. "He'll be okay."

"How can you say that?" she asked, brows drawn together. 

"Because I've carried his lifeless body before, so this? This is nothing." Sam began shoveling dirt at a faster pace, determined to get it done so they could get back, and Alex struggled to keep up with him. When they finished, Sam helped her gather up the empty shells and cover their tracks. 

Light was just starting to peek over the horizon when as they walked back to the car, and Alex dropped her shovel when she saw Dean sitting up in the backseat with his boots on the ground and head in his hands. She ran at him full tilt and dropped to her knees in front of him, a worries look on her face. "How are you feeling?" she asked, tilting his chin up to look at his eyes.

"Head hurts," Dean grunted, squinting up at her, "but I've had worse. We done here?" he asked as Sam popped the trunk and stowed their gear inside. 

"Just finished up. I figured you'd find a way to get out of clean up duty somehow," Sam smirked while walking around to the driver's side door.

"Whatever works, Sammy," Dean called and winked at Alex. She ran a hand down the side of his face and rubbed a smudge of dirt out from under his eyes with her thumb as Dean closed his eyes and hummed softly. He caught her wrist and planted a kiss on her palm before looking at her. "You did good, Al. Let's get out of here."

Alex rose in the back with Dean's head on her lap while Sam drove them to the motel. She ran her fingers through his short hair and stared down at the man she thought she'd lost while he rested, and she couldn't help but thank God for keeping him safe.

They pulled into the parking lot, and Sam unlocked the door while Alex and Dean walked a little slower to the room. "You're quiet tonight," Dean commented. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Alex shrugged out from underneath Dean's arm and hugged her middle. "I almost lost you, Dean. I didn't like that feeling."

"You won't lose me, Al," he said, bumping into her shoulder. She hissed at the point of contact and gripped her upper arm.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked and pulled her closer.

"It's nothing," Alex told him, trying to brush it off. "I just landed funny when Bordeaux threw me that's all."

Dean ran a finger under the collar of her shirt, a question in his eyes. Alex shrugged and watched as he pulled the shirt down over her shoulder. "Jesus, Al. You needed ice on this like yesterday." He prodded the swollen joint, noting the dark bruises already forming, and raised an eyebrow as she groaned again. "Nothing huh?"

"I'll be fine," she said, righting her clothes and challenging him with a hard stare. Dean raised his hands in surrender and backed away as Alex looked forward again. "Hey, what's Sam doing with all his stuff?"

Sam grinned as they neared the door and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I figured it might be a little crowded, so I got another room. I'll see you guys for lunch." He turned and started walking down the sidewalk, waving over his head when Alex called out to him.

Alex turned to look at Dean who shrugged in response and walked into the room. She stared at Sam's back a second before shaking her head and joining Dean, locking the door behind her.

Dean was pulling fresh clothes from his bag and shot a grin over his shoulder. "I call the shower first, but you're welcome to join me if you want." 

"I'll pass for now, thanks," Alex laughed. "So was this your idea or Sam's?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, walking into the bathroom. She followed him in and crossed her arms as he started the shower. "I thought you didn't want the show?" Dean asked, pulling his shirt over his head. 

"I don't," she said, stepping forward as he gripped the button on his jeans, "but I do want the truth." She stretched up onto her tiptoes and laid a hand on his cheek while the other snakes down to land on his hands. Dean leaned in, watching her closely until their lips were just a hair's breadth away, and his eyes fluttered shut. "Don't lie to me, Dean Winchester," she breathed lips brushing his.

"Never," he groaned out. "It was Sam. He brought it up, and I," he swallowed, "I went along with it because I know how much trouble you have sleeping."

"Good boy," Alex whispered and kissed him deeply, swallowing the sound he made in response. Oh yeah, she thought. He's definitely got a praise kink. 

Dean wrapped his arms around her and backed her up until she hit the bathroom sink before gripping her thighs and lifting her to sit on the counter. "You can stop me at any time, Al. Just say the word. I promise I won't be mad." 

Alex stared up at him with wide eyes and reflected in the past week. So much had happened. She left her old life, met Death, was raped, fought her way out, grew closer to this man and almost lost him tonight after battling an angry spirit, but it was that desperation she'd felt as she cradled his bleeding head in her hands and the gratitude in the car that made her nod once. If she died tomorrow, Alex wanted to know that the man standing between her knees knew how she felt.

"I need to hear it, Al," Dean whispered, eyes dark and intense. "Tell me."

"Yes," she breathed and closed her eyes as Dean leaned in.

The kiss never came, however. When Alex opened her eyes, she was sitting on the ground in front of a small campfire, and a man was smiling at her from the other side.

"Alex," he said, releasing a sigh and shaking his head. "I've waited a long time to meet you. Snickers?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liked this story? Check out Part 3, "The Weight of These Wings."


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